Garden humor thread..

Nyboy said:

My nephew once looked me in the eye and said I had a unrealistic expectations for clean, because I was a gay man LOL I replied no your a slob.

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I agree, your nephew probably is a slob. He's using a stereotype for your behavior because it's easier then cleaning up after himself. I'm guessing that a survey would find the same proportion of slobs that are gay as there are in the general population.

Expectations for clean are the result of what you lived as a child, of wanting better then you had, or not. My BFF1's boys are both neat with everything in its place. The older is partly the result of 8 years in the Marines, the younger, both his mother's influence and having been married to a total slob for 6 years.

Me? Somewhere in between.

Kind of beats me who is a slob to a ridiculous level (If cleanliness really IS next to Godliness, I'm Satanic) I once had a professor (who had his own problems) try and claim that the fact I was so messy and disorganized proved that my mental health issues were terminal and try and get me committed (luckily it turns out it isn't legal to commit someone without actually interviewing them, and the moment they did so, they realized he was totally out of whack.)

Pulsegleaner WOW

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful gas prices are going to go even higher." The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth."


One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of pants for that suit." "Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole."


Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"


A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Ten," said Buffy. So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!" "Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."


A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart. The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.

Blonde Interview_ The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

Carol Dee said:

View attachment 11398

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This was my horse...even the same color and build. He'd stand with his hooves on the front step and watch me in the house, then he'd neigh until I came out and gave him a piece of bread filled with brown sugar. He was a great horse!