baymule
Garden Master
We were supposed to leave on vacation to Harry Potter Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida May 30th with DD and family. At last minute, DSIL had to work that Monday and Tuesday. So we planned on leaving Tuesday afternoon.
Monday night, June 1, I got that middle of night phone call. Mom collapsed and was sent to ER.
DH and I cancelled our plans, DD and family left for Florida. Mom was in hospital several days. It would have been terrible if we had left as scheduled and were in Florida. Mom went downhill quickly. Physical therapy was recommended so I checked her in a rehab nursing home. By the time the kids got back, Grandma was moved to the nursing home. So glad DSIL had to work those two days so that we hadn't left.
It soon became appearant that Mom just wasn't going to get better. I met with the administrator of the assisted living facility and Hospice. A nurse went and assessed Mom and said she couldn't come back to assisted living as she needed more than they were licensed to give. But it was so nice for the administrator to set up the Hospice meeting for me. Mom qualified for Hospice care.
Physical therapy has been dropped, Mom is on pain medications and is being made as comfortable as possible. Her recliner is at the nurse's station so they can watch her.
Mom has an alarm clipped to her shirt that goes off if she gets up. Last Sunday morning, she got the alarm in her hand and stood up. She fell on the first step. She was not hurt, but the nurse who called me sure was shaken up.
Mom barely eats, even being spoon fed. Yesterday I fed her supper. One cherry tomato, cut in half, one tiny cube of chicken, one spoon of vegetable soup and half a can of Ensure. That was all.
Her once brilliant mind is all but gone. She thought she was in the hospital to have a baby, but only asked me about it once. She was ready to board the Bismarck a few days ago, probably remembering the cruises she went on and tangling it up with memories of World War 2. She always knows me. I feel so bad for her. I have a hard time keeping it all together and cry when I leave. At mealtimes, the staff sings hymns as they spoon feed their patients. It is so hauntingly beautiful that I can't hold it together and tears well up.
O don't know why dying has to be so hard. Mom is a fighter and doesn't want to give up. She always said "Don't do that to me" meaning no life saving measures, we have a DNR signed and notarized. But I feel like I'm doing that to her by her being in a nursing home. In diapers, spoon fed, absolutely no privacy and her dignity shattered. But what else can I do.
Yesterday my husband and I met with my sister and her husband. We planned Moms funeral and I wrote the check, so that is taken care of. I feel better knowing I won't have to deal with that later. I'm the one appointed to handle all her business, have power of attorney, medical POA, and executrix of her will. Mom made sure to cross the T's and dot all the I'd before her mind was gone after her stroke four years ago. She lived with us nearly three years.
Pray for my Mom. Pray that she close her eyes, drift away peacefully and wake up in the Glory of God.
Monday night, June 1, I got that middle of night phone call. Mom collapsed and was sent to ER.
DH and I cancelled our plans, DD and family left for Florida. Mom was in hospital several days. It would have been terrible if we had left as scheduled and were in Florida. Mom went downhill quickly. Physical therapy was recommended so I checked her in a rehab nursing home. By the time the kids got back, Grandma was moved to the nursing home. So glad DSIL had to work those two days so that we hadn't left.
It soon became appearant that Mom just wasn't going to get better. I met with the administrator of the assisted living facility and Hospice. A nurse went and assessed Mom and said she couldn't come back to assisted living as she needed more than they were licensed to give. But it was so nice for the administrator to set up the Hospice meeting for me. Mom qualified for Hospice care.
Physical therapy has been dropped, Mom is on pain medications and is being made as comfortable as possible. Her recliner is at the nurse's station so they can watch her.
Mom has an alarm clipped to her shirt that goes off if she gets up. Last Sunday morning, she got the alarm in her hand and stood up. She fell on the first step. She was not hurt, but the nurse who called me sure was shaken up.
Mom barely eats, even being spoon fed. Yesterday I fed her supper. One cherry tomato, cut in half, one tiny cube of chicken, one spoon of vegetable soup and half a can of Ensure. That was all.
Her once brilliant mind is all but gone. She thought she was in the hospital to have a baby, but only asked me about it once. She was ready to board the Bismarck a few days ago, probably remembering the cruises she went on and tangling it up with memories of World War 2. She always knows me. I feel so bad for her. I have a hard time keeping it all together and cry when I leave. At mealtimes, the staff sings hymns as they spoon feed their patients. It is so hauntingly beautiful that I can't hold it together and tears well up.
O don't know why dying has to be so hard. Mom is a fighter and doesn't want to give up. She always said "Don't do that to me" meaning no life saving measures, we have a DNR signed and notarized. But I feel like I'm doing that to her by her being in a nursing home. In diapers, spoon fed, absolutely no privacy and her dignity shattered. But what else can I do.
Yesterday my husband and I met with my sister and her husband. We planned Moms funeral and I wrote the check, so that is taken care of. I feel better knowing I won't have to deal with that later. I'm the one appointed to handle all her business, have power of attorney, medical POA, and executrix of her will. Mom made sure to cross the T's and dot all the I'd before her mind was gone after her stroke four years ago. She lived with us nearly three years.
Pray for my Mom. Pray that she close her eyes, drift away peacefully and wake up in the Glory of God.
to you and your family! God will get you threw this.... even though it feels like he is so far away...he's guiding you during this time. 
