baymule
Garden Master
It was a difficult decision. I talked it over with her and she agreed that it is the best option. When we close on the place we are buying 160 miles from here, I will be gone a lot, fixing the house, replacing floors, painting, building fence, building a chicken coop and moving stuff. I explained to her that I couldn't leave her alone and I couldn't drag her back and forth with me. She immediately countered that she could stay by herself and I reminded her that she can no longer so much as operate the microwave to heat something up to eat. The stroke robbed her of so much of her abilities. So we took the tour of the 2 places in town, selected one and moved her in 1 1/2 weeks ago.
She has a private room with her own furniture. She is settling in and learning other people's names. Today I picked her up to take her to her church group domino game. I went in while she was still eating lunch, the conversation went like this;
Mom-Look on that sign up there and see what I'm having for lunch.
Me-Fish, shrimp, cole slaw, French fries and chocolate cake.
Mom-I don't like this crab (chewing the "crab")
Me-That's not crab, it's shrimp.
Mom-Is it? Which one? (I point out the shrimp) They have a new waitress here, yesterday she gave me a little glass of milk.
The nurse came by talking with the residents and asked Mom about her lunch.
Mom-I don't much care for this crab. (chewing on a piece of shrimp)
This conversation was repeated 5 times. We got in the car and she told me again about not liking the crab and her little glass of milk. I just act like it's a new conversation. Reminding her that has already been said does no good and only serves to confuse her more.
Only now can I relax and know that my Mom is ok. I had to run errands sometimes and she didn't want to go, so I had to hurry to whatever I was doing and anxiously hurry back. Would I find her in the floor? Would she decide to take a walk in my absence? Would she go in the front yard and some weirdo see an old lady by herself and knock her in the head? Telling her to remain in the house or go in the backyard was like talking to a rock. Even while I was home, I don't know how many times she went out the front door without saying a word to me and took off up the street. A few times she took her car keys out of my purse while I was in the back yard and took off. I had to hide them under my mattress. Not until her license expired did she give up on driving her car. We had some knock-down arguments about it.
My husband has been a real good man about this. Our lives shut down while we cared for Mom. We went nowhere, did nothing, unless we got a sitter and we could only be gone for a short time. Last weekend, he had 4 days off and we stayed on the go, I guess because all of a sudden, we could go when and where we wanted to and for as long as we wanted to.
When we get moved (planning on the end of the year) then we'll have to tackle moving Mom up there. She has already told some of her friends she's not going. She may very well decide to stay right here if her church friends visit her like I think they will. That will only make it that much harder for me to do anything for her, but we'll see.
She has a private room with her own furniture. She is settling in and learning other people's names. Today I picked her up to take her to her church group domino game. I went in while she was still eating lunch, the conversation went like this;
Mom-Look on that sign up there and see what I'm having for lunch.
Me-Fish, shrimp, cole slaw, French fries and chocolate cake.
Mom-I don't like this crab (chewing the "crab")
Me-That's not crab, it's shrimp.
Mom-Is it? Which one? (I point out the shrimp) They have a new waitress here, yesterday she gave me a little glass of milk.
The nurse came by talking with the residents and asked Mom about her lunch.
Mom-I don't much care for this crab. (chewing on a piece of shrimp)
This conversation was repeated 5 times. We got in the car and she told me again about not liking the crab and her little glass of milk. I just act like it's a new conversation. Reminding her that has already been said does no good and only serves to confuse her more.
Only now can I relax and know that my Mom is ok. I had to run errands sometimes and she didn't want to go, so I had to hurry to whatever I was doing and anxiously hurry back. Would I find her in the floor? Would she decide to take a walk in my absence? Would she go in the front yard and some weirdo see an old lady by herself and knock her in the head? Telling her to remain in the house or go in the backyard was like talking to a rock. Even while I was home, I don't know how many times she went out the front door without saying a word to me and took off up the street. A few times she took her car keys out of my purse while I was in the back yard and took off. I had to hide them under my mattress. Not until her license expired did she give up on driving her car. We had some knock-down arguments about it.
My husband has been a real good man about this. Our lives shut down while we cared for Mom. We went nowhere, did nothing, unless we got a sitter and we could only be gone for a short time. Last weekend, he had 4 days off and we stayed on the go, I guess because all of a sudden, we could go when and where we wanted to and for as long as we wanted to.
When we get moved (planning on the end of the year) then we'll have to tackle moving Mom up there. She has already told some of her friends she's not going. She may very well decide to stay right here if her church friends visit her like I think they will. That will only make it that much harder for me to do anything for her, but we'll see.
Now is not the time to second guess yourself.
