2017

[Gardening with Rabbits]

What could have been a nice year, really turned out to be the most stressful year of my life. I never had so many changes. I went from a house of 4 people to 2, DD married, DH went to heaven. Also, DS graduated and turned 18 and got a driver's license. Today, he went to work to his first real 8 hour a day 5 days a week job. My whole schedule is messed up. I normally stay up late and sleep until 8 or 9, but was up at 6 and cooked breakfast and visited with him, got the fire going. My whole life I have lived with other people except for maybe a year or so after leaving home and before marrying DH. I lived with parents and DB into my 30s. I was with DH all the time and the first years of marriage we worked together so got up and left the house together and then DD and later DS, so even when DH went to work I had the kids. This morning is the first time I am in a house alone in the morning and now have to start a whole new routine. The cats are confused and sleepy. I fed the rabbits early last night and they were almost asleep, which early was 10:30 lol. Lots of changes. Even how I will plant a garden will change. Trying to get compost bins under control for the winter. I have a lot of rabbit manure and will put the leaves on when they fall. I am not planting garlic for the first time in years. DS and I have been doing a lot of cleaning and trying to decide what to do with DD's bedroom. Thoughts of a TV room to exercise room. We both feel we need exercise after the garden is done and all the wood is stacked, the long winter happens. DS has started practicing the piano again. DD plays in church still, but DS kind of quit about 2012 when the piano teacher moved away. DD is amazed how fast he is picking it back up.

 

[Ridgerunner]

That is a lot of change. Sometimes change can cause renewed enthusiasm and fire you up to accomplish lots of things, moving to a new house can do that. Sometimes change has the opposite effect. When I retired my physical activity picked up and my diet improved. My stress level dropped considerably. We also moved to a different state so all kinds of projects around the house (shelves, lots of shelves) plus planting an orchard, getting chickens, and starting a garden from scratch. That was a good change.

Your routines and lifestyle will settle down. I wish you luck in how that goes.

 

[digitS']

DS has started practicing the piano again. DD plays in church still, but DS kind of quit about 2012 when the piano teacher moved away. DD is amazed how fast he is picking it back up.

The changes in your life, the years of interaction and your son's retention of skills remind me of something that I've been reading a little about (and experiencing more ). GWR.

There's something called "muscle memory." We all know about it, the idea of never forgetting how to ride a bike is an example. Since we may more easily lose some abilities, maybe knowing how to walk is a better example and we can understand the idea a little better thinking how we learned to walk 5 or 8 years before we learned to ride a bike.

Coaches learn about muscle memory because there are injuries and such that lead to interruptions in training, sometimes for good lengths of time. But, I'm not thinking about athletics.

For most of us it's how we move about in our activities. How we interact with each other and the other parts of our environment. You have "habits" and so did your DS, at age 12. He can relearn them quickly. You may have a little trouble altering yours.

Physical activity helps. I really think so, anyway. Even if my activity is limited by my mobility ... well, we are all that way but some of us are unwilling to test even comfortable limits. Children don't know what limits they have and they would change anyway, as they grow .

Steve

 

[journey11]

That's a lot of change all at once. For what you've been through, the pace of your life has likely gone from frantic and busy to a sudden standstill and deafeningly quiet by comparison. As wives and moms, I think we get to a point where serving our families becomes a major element defining who we feel we are. But there's so much more beyond that, perhaps long set aside and forgotten, waiting to be rediscovered. Maybe there's something that you really enjoy that you can indulge yourself in now or some special morning ritual you can settle into that will make you feel grounded as you start out each day. A morning walk or exercise routine, maybe a class you'd like to take, a cozy spot to sip coffee and read your Bible in the morning, etc. Just whatever you will enjoy and look forward to that would make a good daily dose of YOU-time. You deserve to take this time to be extra good to yourself, reflect and heal.

My MIL calls her sister every morning and they have coffee together, over the phone.

 

[Gardening with Rabbits]

I agree about the muscle memory and DS. DB has been teaching DS about computers since he was about 9 or 10. It has amazed me how he can do things on a computer like DB. The change in hours is hard. DS was exhausted all day and he is not doing hard work. Actually, I think he would be happier if he was. The jobs he has had in the past have been farm things like loading hay bales onto trucks and putting in barns, moving irrigation pipe, and be filthy dirty and exhausted, but smiling and sleep good. I hope eventually to get where I like this, but I don't know. DD has been working now for a couple of years and having to go to bed earlier and get up early and she is still having trouble. This all started with DH and his job hour changes he had, so I finally got a routine that worked for us where we just went to bed around 1 and got up around 9. It will take time like digitS said. I kept busy yesterday and DS came home for lunch. I need exercise, so I will see how that goes. lol

 

[ninnymary]

Oh Gardening with Rabbits, I just want to hold you and give you a big hug. The biggest change is losing your soul mate. I would imagine that's like just floating around aimlessly at least for now. You've kept busy doing things that although needing to be done were also "busy work". I think now is a time to heal, reflect, and rest. Don't worry about a schedule or routine right now. That will come with time. Perhaps your life will become more simplified in some ways. Praying for God's grace and strength for you.

Mary

 

[Gardening with Rabbits]

Oh Gardening with Rabbits, I just want to hold you and give you a big hug. The biggest change is losing your soul mate. I would imagine that's like just floating around aimlessly at least for now. You've kept busy doing things that although needing to be done were also "busy work". I think now is a time to heal, reflect, and rest. Don't worry about a schedule or routine right now. That will come with time. Perhaps your life will become more simplified in some ways. Praying for God's grace and strength for you.

Mary

Thank you Mary! Yes, that’s the way it feels, kind of floating aimlessly. I am in good spirits though. There is no going back or changing things. There is no reason to be sad. It will not bring him back. It will not make God happy, DH happy or my kids. DS's job is going well. We are liking our new routine. We are getting more things done. We are doing pretty good really.

 

[Nyboy]

 

[baymule]

That is a lot of changes to deal with, but I am confident that you will adjust and find your path. This is the time to regroup and explore new avenues in your life. Maybe there is something you always wanted to do but never took time for yourself. Pottery classes, sewing, karate, or volunteering at the zoo. That special something that you would like to do, but just never did. Big hugs to you.

 

[ninnymary]

Thank you Mary! Yes, that’s the way it feels, kind of floating aimlessly. I am in good spirits though. There is no going back or changing things. There is no reason to be sad. It will not bring him back. It will not make God happy, DH happy or my kids. DS's job is going well. We are liking our new routine. We are getting more things done. We are doing pretty good really.

This warms my heart. I'm so glad you are doing well considering the circumstances. Love your positive attitude.

Mary