Silicon Valley Society

[Smiles Jr.]

I like reading the posts in Steve's thread about our poor ancestors. It got me to thinking about the other side of the coin and how much different our children's lives are these days.

Like most of you, I have stories and memories of my formative years and doing without. Being born in 1943 on a poor man's truck farm in rural Indiana and my dad gone to fight Hitler's regime, I have lots of things stored away in my memory banks. But I want to relate to you a little bit different viewpoint. I must begin by telling you that I love my daughter dearly. She was the apple of my eye all during her growing up years and still is. She's my baby.

She graduated from University with honors in Broadcast Journalism and also has a degree in Investment something or other. She was going to set the world on fire when she was recruited by a T.V. station in San Francisco. I think this was in about 1996??? We waved goodby through tears and off she went to conquer the world. Two years later she met the man of her dreams and started a fairytale life in Silicon Valley. Soon they had a multi-million dollar home, two Mercedes Benz cars, some kind of little Ferrari car (for weekends only, don't ya know), and two beautiful little girls. They live in a make-believe world and have absolutely no clue that there is a working class of people out there somewhere. Her biggest concern of any day is what kind of $100-per-bottle wine to have for "drinks" before dinner. I don't know for sure, but I think she has been converted into one who thinks that milk is manufactured in the back of the store and that killing a chicken should be a capital offense. And certainly nobody would ever butcher Miss Piggy - surely pork is developed in a laboratory somewhere. She and her family communicate via texting every three minutes. I do believe that they are loosing their ability to talk in sensible sentences. This may be an exaggeration but I think they go to the Apple store once a month to completely re-do their gazillion electronics things. Honest to goodness, they have an electronics expert come to their house every Tuesday to update all their stuff.

We used to visit once a year but we have been skipping years lately. They used to come here once a year but they have not been here for 6 years now. I'm sure that the fact that they communicate on a totally different level has something to do with our drifting apart. We were out there to visit last year and their life is so different than ours that we felt very uncomfortable the entire time. We were definitely an intrusion. I could go on and on about their lifestyle but I think you get the message already. In a sense - she is very poor. I miss my baby.

 

[so lucky]

I really feel for you, Smiles. I'm sure you expected her to retain more of her down-to-earth sensibilities, and here she is, representing all the things that much of the world has come to hate/envy/covet. Sadly, that little girl seems to be gone for ever. Don't you just wish you could have her back as a 5 year old for one day?

 

[897tgigvib]

Smiles, I feel for you.

 

[ninnymary]

Oh Smiles, that just broke my heart to read it. I have hope that one day she will come to realize what is important in life. Having relationships with our adult kids is sometimes hard and we need to work at it. At least that is my experience with one of my daughters whom I'm not as closed to as the other one. I don't know how old your granddaughters are but perhaps they can come visit you at least yearly? They need to know their grandparents and your lifestyle. By keeping in touch with them you will be keeping in touch with your daughter.

Mary

 

[catjac1975]

We send our kids to college in hopes that they achieve "the good life." My daughter left for college and did not come back to live for 10 years. She has a great career and wonderful family but, came back home to Massachusetts. She wanted her kids to have "the kind of life she did growing up." I feel so fortunate and feel for you, Smiles. I don't know why I am so lucky. I hope your daughter does not wait until it is too late to realize what her kids are missing in not having a relationship with you. When your granddaughters are older enough a ride on a horse at a horse farm can sometimes sway attitudes. Don't stop trying.

 

[Stubbornhillfarm]

Smiles...that about breaks my heart to hear. BUT...I can tell you one thing knowing it to be truth and I hope that it gives you some comfort.

One day...something will happen. It always does; to all of us. In that moment, she will remember where she is from, how she was raised and who she needs to call. And in that moment...I pray that you will receive her with love, guidance and excitement, because your "baby" does know who she really is even under all the fluff.

 

[journey11]

That is terribly sad, Smiles. I really hope she'll get a little perspective on the things that really matter in life as age and experience ensue. I'm sure her life is very exciting to her, but she is missing out by taking the important, irreplacable (and fleeting!) things for granted. Honestly, the best things in life are free. It's hard to convince some folks of that though.

I graduated in '96, so your daughter must be a couple years older than me? I am 35 and have no desire to own a smart phone and have no idea what a snap-tag does. I only narrowly missed the "millenial" generation by about 4 years I think. Whew!!!

I find myself somewhat appalled by the tech-saavy of this generation. Aside from becoming "unplugged" from the tangible and real things in life and there is a distance it seems to create between people. And I don't believe all that electronic noise can be good for the developing brain in young people. How sad that all these advances promise to help us become more connected, but truly have made people more disconnected emotionally and physically. I hate text messaging and find facebook to be cold and impersonal. I cannot tell you how many of my classmates that leave remarks or "likes" on my facebook that do not speak or seem to recognize me when I encounter them in public. I have my facebook trimmed down to only my family and closest friends, whom I talk to in person or on the phone on a regular basis anyway.

Isn't it interesting though, to note how often generations of people tend to run back to the things their forerunners may have run FROM. My grandma grew up working hard on the family farm. She has little interest in having a veggie garden now. My husband's grandma also grew up on a farm, working hard and in poverty. She won't touch a free-range brown egg. Although the taste and nutritional value of that farm fresh egg is by far superior, she abhors them. I think they must bring back too many bad memories? Surely there is a happy medium. I hope to achieve one with my children. I want them to help with things around here, but I think it would be wise not to overdo it or force them much. I love it when my 5-year-old begs to "help". I hope to keep it that way!

ETA: This is one of those topics that will have me thinking about it all week... I sure hope you can find some more ways to reach out to your daughter and reconnect, Smiles. Deep down she is still your little girl. I'll be thinking about you and wish you both the best.