1. Dismiss Notice
  2. Official TEG Poll: What is your garden style?
    CLICK HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice
  3. Sunflower issues - Featured Thread
    CLICK HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice
  4. TEG Picture of the Week (POW) - Submit your Pics Now !!
    Click HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice

Twenty-three Adult Truths

Discussion in 'Everything Else Garden' started by Sam BigDeer, Jun 8, 2016.

  1. Jun 8, 2016
    Sam BigDeer

    Sam BigDeer Deeply Rooted

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    292
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    These might give you a smile. They came from Australia this morning.

    23 ADULT TRUTHS

    1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.

    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

    23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

    (Ladies ... Quit Laughing! )

    It just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

    I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece) - and how was your day?

    (This is what happens when old people start using technology!)

    I Would Like To Add One.

    At What Point-In-Life Do We Become "OLD PEOPLE " ??
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Just chuckling along, Sam....
     
    Larisa, pjn, Carol Dee and 7 others like this.
  2. Jun 8, 2016
    Nyboy

    Nyboy Garden Master

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2010
    Messages:
    21,366
    Likes Received:
    16,167
    Trophy Points:
    437
    Location:
    White Plains NY,weekends Lagrange NY.
    LOL love it !! Number 18 so true for me
     
    coco25 likes this.
  3. Jun 8, 2016
    thistlebloom

    thistlebloom Garden Master

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2010
    Messages:
    15,912
    Likes Received:
    15,710
    Trophy Points:
    437
    Location:
    North Idaho 48th parallel
    Those are great Sam! Made me laugh out loud. Especially #23....:lol:
     
  4. Jun 8, 2016
    canesisters

    canesisters Garden Master

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Messages:
    5,519
    Likes Received:
    6,769
    Trophy Points:
    347
    Location:
    Southeast VA
    bigsmile.jpg LOVED IT!!!!!
     
  5. Jun 8, 2016
    Smart Red

    Smart Red Garden Master

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    11,302
    Likes Received:
    7,315
    Trophy Points:
    387
    Location:
    South-est, central-est Wisconsin
    I think I know who wrote #21. I once knew someone who had an almost religious fervor about his jeans. They were NEVER to be washed! After a month or so, the jeans became waterproof and ALL stains found the jean material impenetrable.

    Big "Eew" factor, IMHO. But, it did seem that the jeans got only so dirty and never dirtier.
     
  6. Jun 8, 2016
    bobm

    bobm Garden Addicted

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2012
    Messages:
    3,509
    Likes Received:
    2,067
    Trophy Points:
    277
    When it comes to water / dirt proof genes ... at sheep shearing time, all one has to do is stomp wool from almost 500 sheep into the wool sacks all day long for 4 days and your shoes, socks, bluegenes, shirt and you will become waterproof from all of the lanolin. :celebrate The drawback is that after showering for a week and applying generous aftershave and body deoderant and washing your clothes several times, you still smell like a sheep for a week or more ( been there done that ) . :lol:
     
    coco25 likes this.
  7. Jun 9, 2016
    baymule

    baymule Garden Master

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    13,292
    Likes Received:
    15,190
    Trophy Points:
    417
    Location:
    Northeast Texas
    #17....the comedian Chris Rock once said, if you get lost in any city in America, you will find yourself on Martin Luther King Street. A few years later, somehow I ran out of freeway in Memphis, Tn and milled around aimlessly. I looked up at a street sing and yup! I was on Martin Luther King. I sat in my car at the light laughing my head off.
     
  8. Jun 9, 2016
    Carol Dee

    Carol Dee Garden Master

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2011
    Messages:
    10,886
    Likes Received:
    12,630
    Trophy Points:
    397
    Location:
    Long Grove, IA
    Those are great, YUP I am getting old! Thanks for the laughs. ;)
     

Share This Page