Girlfriend, you are loved and valued here! I am sorry your life has taken this turn and that your DH has gone down the dark road of mental illness. You are welcome to come here any time you have the need to let it all hang out! Yes, you ARE in a funk because of your husband's condition. It is enough to get anybody down. Then you come to TEG and see the colorful pics of everybody else's glowing accomplishments and you feel worse about your life and you get what I call "the mullygrubs." Mullygrubs? I have no idea where the expression mullygrubs even came from, but if you say it outloud, it just seems to fit. Shrug your shoulders and admit, "I got the mullygrubs." Then go get a piece of chocolate, go outside in the garden/chicken coop and eat it. You'll feel better.
You want to know WHY my garden looks so fabulous? You want to know WHY I have 27 hens? Because my 90 year old mother lives with us and I am basically under house arrest. I can't leave her alone for very long, so I take her with me. If she doesn't want to go, then I stay home. Her itinerary is Walmart, the post office, Walmart, church, Walmart, post office, shop for the Holy Grail of a dress that does not exist, did I mention Walmart? I hate Walmart, I hate professional shoppers that never buy anything, and I don't have the daily compulsion to wait breathlessly for the post office to box the mail so I can get my junk mail fix. Sigh. But that is what makes her happy and that is where she is in life. I quit a 10-12 hour a day job to care for her and boring is an understatement. So I added onto the garden, added a run to the coop and got more chickens. I call it decorating my cell. I have to have something to do, so I grow vegetables, can, make jelly, cook for hours to serve meals that I could never make when I worked 10 hour days. I make bread, pies, cakes and look up recipes on the internet. Like you, I find joy in my chickens and my garden.
Now, let's bust some mullygrubs. If you haul straw in your trunk.....so what. It's your car and you can do what you want to with it. That's why they make shop-vacs.
If you intended to pick strawberries and blue berries and didn't......so what. Go buy some jam. If your garden hasn't rewarded you with a bumper crop.....so what. Go to the farmers market. The fact that you can go pick something that you grew is proof that you have had success in your garden.
About that chicken yard.....get on it, girlfriend. It will make you feel good, it will make you feel accomplished, so get started. I don't know what your day consists of with your DH, but use some of your time to work outside. It is your gift to yourself. Obviously, he won't be any help to you, so don't even consider it. Do it yourself FOR yourself. If you just work on the chicken yard 30 minutes to an hour each day, then you are that much closer to your goal. Get some Motown Hit CD's and play them while you work. How can anybody NOT be happy working in rhythm to Motown????
I bet even your chickens would like to dance around to "There ain't no mountain high enough"
And PM me your address and I will send you some of my green bean seeds. They grow like mad, are 2-3' long and will cover you up with green beans. So if you are feeling left out for not having 40 quarts of green beans canned in gleaming glass jars, I can hook you up!
Although I never can these, I get so many, that I pray for a killing frost and I have had enough of green beans and I don't want to eat any more until the next season!
http://www.theeasygarden.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=33860
Do the seats in your car fold down? Lots of cars have back seats the will fold down and it opens up to the trunk of the car. If so, throw an old blanket and some plastic in there and go get your trees. If they don't fold down, throw an old blanket and some plastic and go get your trees. You'll just have to get creative stuffing them in your car! Hang them out the window........stuff them crosswise in the trunk and let the tops hang out the back of the trunk.....tie the trunk down good.
Big hugs to you
It'll come.
