Ducks ALIVE in 2025!

Shower is now complete. There are things still to do. The old tiled bath shelf stuck out 2 inches and when the guy tiled the bathroom years ago, he worked around it. Suffice, there is a 2"x10" gap with exposed wood. DD intends to cut and shove in a piece from the old rubber bath mat until we can correct this. I still have 5-6 whole pieces of tiled stored in the basement to use. Doesn't Everybody save those things?!?!?
Shower looks like the ads, except the base is 68 inches long. We have a seat in it and two corners with places for shampoo, etc., very handy.
I have a tension rod in the window with the previous shower curtain. Without That the humidity would destroy the old window. I need to start window shopping for a window that maybe doesn't Need a curtain inside.
Seems like Somebody makes that.
I have a basement "farmer's shower" so I could still takes showers while I waited.
Strange Christmas this year...
Don't know if I will want to celebrate next year.
I told DH if we went home to be with the Lord on my Birthday, I would probably Never celebrate it again.
Didn't happen.
He watched a few NCAAF bowl games--one was Bowling Bowl, of all things.

Here is documentation of my new shower. First is after the old tub was taken out. They wrongly measured the base, had to custom order it, so I got a 2nd corner shelving unit for freebies. Haven't used the seat yet, but the base is 5'8" wide. Started on December 9th...

Finished on December 23rd. I had to get a tension rod for a curtain to protect the window. HOPEFULLY, I will be able to save up for a new window that is waterproof in the future. It is recommended to clean ONLY with vinegar, so I am keeping a spray bottle of this on the top right.
Yes, the rest of the bathroom needs repainting/redoing, buit I can live with this. The interior clear liner puddles and, when shut, after a shower, it's like a sauna in there.
Loving it!

James Carlton Dedman, June 23, 1948 to February 1, 2026, RIP
These will be my last posts on this thread. My friends here have been so supportive and I will never forget your kindnesses.
I will post here what I wrote to a friend who emailed me after the crematorium posted an obituary on Wednesday.
"Jim was sharp until Friday night, then he passed into sleeping/nonresponsive. He went to be with Christ on Sunday morning at 7AM. My youngest daughter was there with me.
We are having no funeral, no memorial service.
Our family prefers to mourn in private.
We have had many people reach out--a family friend that we have known through my daughters, showed up at my door on Thursday to visit. She is being treated for stage 4 cancer, which was what Jim's glioblastoma was.
We believe that his cancer probably started growing late April, since he started using a cane then.
It pleased Jim greatly to have visitors. He loved when our daughters hooked up and played old videogames on the bedroom tv, or chatted nonsense. My daughters laugh easily, and that was tonic to him, since his body gradually failed him over the 86 days after his diagnosis, then he had no control over most of his body. Even his left arm and leg had begun to fail, the right leg was useless as of early December, the right arm soon afterwards.
Caregiving for Jim was a privilege, even when he woke me up after 3 hours of sleep on a regular basis.
He would ask me, "are you awake?" never hostile, angry or desperate.
The cancer was on the left side of his brain. His personality never changed, he was sweet until the end."

HERE are more details. Many new to this site may not be interested in reading further.

REDDIT has a link with testimonials of family who witnessed their loved one dying of this horrible disease, and we will probably post one soon, too.
I wish I could say that Hospice was helpful. I am very sorry that I did not shop around bc Carle Hospice made my experience a nightmare.

My 3 DD's spent almost every evening with him, and my DD who lives 2 hrs away drove here to spend time with him, too. SHE was doubting that she made a difference. I have consoled her bc she allowed me to take care of my animals and other responsibilities, like cleaning cat litter boxes.
She spent her time sitting in bed with him watching stuff on tv and talking.
He gave her some tasks post mortum and told her things that I hadn't/wouldn't have heard from him.
All 3 of them fed us/him, while he was still eating. He stopped eating 5 weeks before his death.
Jim became afraid of the dark early on, and we kept most of the bedroom lights on at night. Since my youngest DD slept in the hospital bed that we never put him in, and we switched out at 4:30AM, so that the puppy could eat/drink/play and run for 90 minutes before she had to go home and then to her job, even with a sleeping mask she couldn't sleep with That much light. After our intervention, only the torch light in the corner stayed on 24/7 until last Sunday.
He only had about 10 days with problems swallowing--may people with this ailment cannot swallow for much longer periods of time.
He never had any writhing pain, and the stupid Hospice nurses were questioning whether he needed the morphine and valium (suppositories,} which were the only drugs that gave him relief.
They failed HIM in last week by not ordering enough of both.
They also had ordered only 2 padded bandages. I was expected 2 boxes, quantity of 5 each. I was out of Valium and the specialty bandages.
My daughters kept remarking my stoicism, but THAT finally broke me. I had local sources for substitute bandages.
I had already ordered Terrasil, which was healing up his bedsore, same bedsore that I Thought was a rash the size of a silver dollar and became the size of a dessert plate on his left butt.
They really nice woman who bathed him sent Hospice a screen shot of the wound. NONE of the nurses who came out afterwards even bothered to look at the bedsore.
Their response to wound cream that the bather recommended was to tell me I was using the wrong medication. They never identified the medication, nor ordered it for me.
They said the wouldn't "write up" the bather.
I only enough Valium for 2 days, at 3/day. I needed enough for 5 days--who would have known he wouldn't last longer than that. THEY did, but I was kept in the dark about so many of the things that I had find out online.
There is more to this story but if I delineate all of their failures your eyes will glaze over. Anybody who wants to know can PM me.
Suffice, they made my experience a nightmare, and stole me of my grief while I watched the love of my life diminishing.

Oh Ducks. I'm so sad for you and your DD's. But I'm glad that J is free of the chains of pain and suffering. I know his angel was waiting for him to take him to Heaven. Gentle hugs from me to you.

sorry to hear and glad to hear it is now in the past. anger is certainly understandable seeing how they didn't even provide basic care for an obvious issue, but the drug stuff i do understand because i'm sure they have to track all medications very carefully as staff might be stealing them to resell or ... if you're short of staff and management is overburdened too then they won't have much time to do all that paperwork/tracking. not that it is any excuse but perhaps some understanding may help you move on and let it go.

having seen what a friend of ours is going through with care and the vast differences in care providers and organisations nothing of what you've written above is a surprise to me.

at the moment i have a great deal of angst about a certain person but there isn't anything i can do about that so i too have to just let things go.

Ducks your support and bravery thru the last days of Jim’s life is unmatched. It’s not the easiest test we are given to cope and you have shown such courage and grace. I have fallen for you both from reading your experiences it’s truly soul searching. My love and prayers pour out to you and your family. These stages of grief are difficult as your family and the holy spirit will guide , support you , and walk side by side as days turn into months and months into years. Memories never fade. It will be a year anniversary since my DH passed Feb 11. I will always remember your kindness during that time and many thanks for all your prayers and support.