Chuck Norris/Ridgerunner Jokes

[baymule]

Here's the deal, post a Chuck Norris Joke, but substitute @Ridgerunner for Chuck Norris. I can think of no better way to let @Ridgerunner know how much we miss him while he is gone for the Thanksgiving holidays!

@Ridgerunner can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.

A bullet proof vest wears @Ridgerunner for protection.

 

[Smart Red]

My grandson is the Chuck Norris pro, but here goes my feeble attempt.
@Ridgerunner destroyed the periodic table, he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

[baymule]

Once a cobra bit @Ridgerunner on the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

 

[Smart Red]

People wanted to add @Ridgerunner to Mount Rushmore, but the granite was not tough enough for his beard.

 

[thistlebloom]

@Ridgerunner makes onions cry.

 

[Nyboy]

@Ridgerunner has a gizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead just afraid to move.

 

[thistlebloom]

@Ridgerunner won the Tour de France on a stationary bike.

 

[so lucky]

these are so funny! I hope @Ridgerunner has a good sense of humor!

 

[Nyboy]

@Ridgerunner once made a happy meal cry.

 

[thistlebloom]

these are so funny! I hope @Ridgerunner has a good sense of humor!

Me too, because his "Alerts" button is going to explode when he turns on his computer!