CRAPTASTIC PALLET COOKOFF

baymule

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The INTERNATIONAL REDNECK INNOVATION SOCIETY OF REJECTS has declared a winner in our annual CRAPTASTIC PALLET COOKOFF!

Please note that no pallets were actually cooked or consumed for this contest.

In the Pallet Division, a contestant known only as BAYMULE requested anonymity and did not provide a real name or forwarding address. Here at the IRISOR we pride ourselves on accepting all who apply. We protect the guilty as well as the innocent. Except jaywalkers. Jaywalkers are BAD, leading to hit and run, causing idiots to spend time in prison for something that wasn’t their fault.

BAYMULE’S entry was carefully scrutinized for originality, construction, duplication, cost of materials, architecture, splinters, and ambiance. We scoured the internet and last night’s Mac n’ Cheese pot and found NOTHING to compare it to.

BAYMULE’S entry won the Pallet Division Contest! BAYMULE got bonus points for keeping sheep in the front yard. It’s a short walk to shoot something for supper.

However those same sheep have been plotting on a sneak attack under the Doublewide, where they could wreak havoc on plumbing and wiring, causing great damage and expensive repairs. They were found under the porch, looking innocent and discussing their plan of destruction. The dog listened intently to their diabolical plans and ratted them out.

BAYMULE lost no time in loading the dog in the back of the truck and driving to the local hardware store for free pallets. Once back home, BAYMULE constructed an impermeable barrier around the porch, using a beautiful blue hay string to tie things together, 3” deck screws, wire 1 Red River panel a half of a hog panel and 2 T-posts for good luck.

There is a thoughtful low cut in the row of splintery pallets. This took no planning, absolutely no measurements, no skill and no advice from the stray cat that leaves muddy paw prints on the hood of the truck.

This is so the dog, who shares the front yard with the sheep, can jump on the porch to escape them. The sheep are angry because he foiled their evil plans and they try to run him down. BAYMULE thinks he acts as their guardian, when in reality he is barking madly at coyotes, in sign language, yelling COME GET THE SHEEP I HATE THEM! So far, no coyotes have taken him up on that offer.

The INTERNATIONAL REDNECK INNOVATION SOCIETY OF REJECTS

Proudly presents the winner of the CRAPTASTIC PALLET COOKOFF!

BAYMULE has been awarded 43 pierce of used rusty on one side, corrugated roofing tin.

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If anyone knows the whereabouts of BAYMULE or where BAYMULE might reside, please remind BAYMULE that we are still holding those prized 43 pieces of used rusty roofing tin and would appreciate immediate pick up. It’s been several months since the conclusion of the CRAPTASTIC PALLET COOKOFF and the IRISOR is beginning to suspect BAYMULE May, in fact be a Jaywalker! This is being diligently investigated and if in fact is found to be true, BAYMULE will be disqualified and the prize of 43 pieces of used rusty on one side corrugated roofing tin shall be rescinded.
 

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