What not to do during a divorce

[Just-Moxie]

I feel your pain. Truly I do. I haven't even got to start on my divorce yet. Too hard to find a job. Need a place to live. I am trapped here with a crazy man.

 

[catjac1975]

Oregon, like many other states, is a "fair and equitable" state, much like a community property state. Our lists of assets must equal each other on both sides. Its also a no fault state.

I paid for an appraisal of this home as if it were finished up with all the remodeling, especially since the appraiser could see the $10K in brand new items out in the garage waiting for the said remodeling. It came in about $45K less than I had hoped. I do not want to split apart my retirement fund to give him some money to balance our asset lists.

Oh but wait! There's more! In December, he drove 16 hours to LA to purchase a 2013 BMW535I for his honey. I got their gas bills on the way down, the $1200 he paid for the hotel while they were there, and I "see" his $16,050 auto loan on his credit report with a CU. He owes me that money and more for what he spent on our Credit cards.

I don't get mad. But I'll get even, sadly. I do know how to find out 90% of what he's up to....I have my ways.....and it stymies him about how much I know. hahahahaha

Bay: I will forgive him someday. Yes, I still love him, but I will not let a hole in my heart fester like I see it happened with my Mother. She still hates the woman my Dad left her for after 35 years of marriage. Daddy has been gone for 18 years, and Mother still talks about that lady. Gawd....Get over it Mother.

Why not cancel the credit cards after you apply for own with only your name?

 

[Rhodie Ranch]

Cancelling credit cards dings your credit score. Its best when we are done, to simply have them remove his name or cut them up, put them in the freezer, and then get new ones.

 

[Rammy]

I cancelled our cards when I did my divorce and it didnt hurt me one bit. The ones I couldnt cancel I had my name removed because I knew that if he didnt pay them( and he didnt), theyd come after me. It took me ten years to pay off what debt I did get stuck with but it was worth it.

 

[baymule]

Get another appraiser.

Are you having to pay the credit card bills that he is racking up? Or is he paying them, but you see them on the bill?

How long will it take to finalize this divorce so you can move on with your life?