You need to start being positive!!

You Have had successes!
I re watched a gardening program (interview) with a woman who grows 12 months/year in Nova Scotia, a Much harsher climate that yours or mine is.
She has a blog and answers questions. One viewer wrote in to complan that their tomatoes and peppers didn't do well.
She asked, "what DID grow well for you this year?"
The response was a laundry list.
I think we believe the press on seed packages and online videos that this is easy.
Some is, a lot ISN'T.
I grew 100 beefsteak tomatoes from seed this year. I still have to plant some of them. I killed a dozen of them.
I had a pot of 4 next to the south facing window ledge on the porch. It got sun and a breeze. All 4 tomatoes died.
I potted up 4 more, put them in the same spot and they are flourishing.
Not ALL seeds in a package are as strong as others.
Keep trying, learn from mistakes and figure out what works for YOU.
I can't keep any houseplants. HERE is the window planter where the geraniums and onions survived the cats this winter.
I put a plastic (biodegradable) garbage bag to line it, put in potting soil, and caged it. Otherwise all would be toast.
Soon they will go outside.
Your words need to be used to bless, and that means to bless yourself, as well as others.