Garden humor thread..

Smart Red

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An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a good sized pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'

Some of us old folks can still think fast. :)

(taken from Flirty Fun with Frankie Stover)
 

Carol Dee

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An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a good sized pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'

Some of us old folks can still think fast. :)

(taken from Flirty Fun with Frankie Stover)
:yuckyuck:gig
 

ducks4you

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This is also a true story, short, but happened to me yesterday.
I just gave me order at a fast food drivethrough.
I round the corner, and a worker--possibly Manager, flags me to stop in my lane. Spread across it is a long, heavy duty yellow tie down strap tied to the hitching ball of a pickup, can't see WHAT it's tied to. The pickup revs up and pulls hard, harder, then snaps the tie. Some fool was trying to pull an established boxwood out. :th
On this site, I DON'T need to explain the folly.
I explained what they were doing to the clerk when I picked up my food, and told her to enjoy the show.
 

Smart Red

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This June, DH grubbed out a whole row of boxwoods -- twelve or thirteen of them. You might remember the beautiful white shrub row that provided the foreground in my crabapple photo a year ago? The white was winter kill so they needed to go. Gone they are.
 

so lucky

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I think boxwoods can cover your house if you let them. In Ste Genevieve MO, which is one of the oldest settlements west of the Mississippi River, the boxwoods around those old French homes are as big as the houses. They've probably been growing close to 300 years, though.
 

Smart Red

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Beautiful shot, bad bushes:
Trees flowering crab.JPG

showing the row of boxwoods along the bottom of photo. Pretty much dead after the winter of 2013.
 
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