Garden humor thread..

[Ridgerunner]

Bartender - Care for another beer gentlemen?
Customers - No thanks I think we've had our limit. But what if we buy you one?
Bartender - Thanks Guys but I haven't had a drink in 25 years.
Customers - So you must have quit pretty young.
Bartender - Yeah, One night in college a really embarrassing incident made me realize I had a problem with drinking and had to stop.
Customers - Good for you! if you don't mind telling, what happened that made you quit?
Bartender - My fraternity brothers staged and intervention.

 

[flowerbug]

View attachment 29524

we like it. heeheehee...

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[seedcorn]

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

 

[seedcorn]

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

 

[canesisters]

 

[digitS']

An Adventure ..

. 65 Million Years ..

. in the Making?

digitS'

 

[digitS']

Eight year-old Joe is doing his homework.
Question: What is the word that is the opposite of nobody?

Joe is stymied by the question and racks his brain for the opposite. There it is!
Answer: yesbody

Six year-old Ruthie's class is visiting the school library.

Librarian, reading from a storybook: "'Maybe we will find it in the archives,' said Dusty, the Platypus. Boys and girls, do any of you know what an archive is?"

Ruthie holds up both hands, excitedly.

"Ruthie?"

"It's where Noah kept his bees!"

Steve

 

[Ridgerunner]

Eight year-old Joe is doing his homework.
Question: What is the word that is the opposite of nobody?

Joe is stymied by the question and racks his brain for the opposite. There it is!
Answer: yesbody

Steve

True story. When my son told my two-year-old grandson that is was November he said "No, it is Yesvember" and laughed. He's already telling jokes.