My Dad

[Nyboy]

All I can say is hang in there. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I know you think your dad will not like anyone in house, but hire someone for 2 to3 hours once a week for cleaning.

 

[Carol Dee]

Thinking about you and your Dad. Do not be afraid to call Hospice now, before you actually feel they are needed. They should be able to answer some questions. Give you tips and encouragement. Sending Big Hugs and Prayers for strength,

 

[so lucky]

Just thinking about the possibility of someone coming in daily.....do you think he would accept a guy to sit with him and play cards or something? I think some men get tired of women running their lives and telling them what to do (go figure!) Maybe "advice" and a helping hand from another man would help him feel more in control.
But then some men see every other man as competition, to be beaten, so if he is that kind of man, that might not work either.

 

[Nyboy]

You may think this is cold, hire someone and let them deal with your dad's attitude. It would be between care taker and your dad. most care takers have dealt with being unwanted in beging

 

[journey11]

You may think this is cold, hire someone and let them deal with your dad's attitude. It would be between care taker and your dad. most care takers have dealt with being unwanted in beging

I figure I'd have to pay them well, hazard pay! My MIL worked many years as an in-home caregiver and was one of the best. I've heard many stories... Who knows, if I found someone he hit it off with, he might really enjoy the company.

 

[journey11]

Missed a call from the nurse right before lunchtime, calling to tell me what they saw on the MRI. She called and told Dad, but he didn't really understand what she was saying. After calling multiple times, I finally got a hold of her nearly 3 hours later. They did see some "spots" on there, but she said they don't know if it is a possible reoccurrence of the tumor or necrotic areas from the radiation. They will want to do a biopsy to be sure. Hate this waiting and waiting and not knowing. Dad missed 8 doses of his chemo while on radiation, I think he just decided not to take it on the weekends because I always saw him take it when we drove down for the treatments. That has worried me sick. I never called to remind him because he was doing well to remember to take it. I am kicking myself now because some things do bear nagging! I think he didn't take them on purpose.

 

[so lucky]

"Forgetting" to take his medicine when you are not there could be a control issue with him. He probably really feels that he is not in control of his life (or death) anymore, and may be acting out his anxiety in that way.
Maybe if you threaten to move in with him if he doesn't start remembering/cooperating...
(I know that isn't feasible, but he might fall for it)

 

[aftermidnight]

.

Annette

 

[journey11]

My dad is not doing very well, so I haven't been online much. He asked me to take him to the ER last Monday, which he would never concede to do unless he was not feeling well at all. Then he had a panic attack and refused treatment, would not be admitted. They looked at me to give the word to tackle and sedate him. They thought he was not in his right mind, but I knew he meant it when he said he didn't care if he went home and died. He just wanted to sleep in his own bed. So I took him home.

We had an MRI and doctor appointment scheduled the next morning anyway, and when I went to pick him up he was dressed and ready and had had his breakfast and did not argue about going. I had Brandon take off work and come with me anyway, just because I didn't know how it was going to be.

His MRI is showing some changes. They do not think the cancer is back at this point. They think it is further radiation damage, which I've been told can go on for months or years later. His brain is kind of short circuiting; he is having trouble getting his words out and has some confusion and memory loss. He is still able to drive and live on his own, but I've had to keep a close eye on him.

He is getting really tired of being messed with and all the relentless doctors' appointments. I don't know how much more he will put up with. He is very strong-willed and still able-bodied, so it is very difficult for me to get him to do what he needs to do.

Last Saturday my neighbor's tractor caught fire and burned down his garage, almost setting fire to my house and his as well. It has been a crazy week!

That is my house on the right. We ran to bring out as much of his belongings as possible because we thought his house would burn for sure since it was attached. For as far out as we live, 6 firetrucks came to the rescue surprisingly fast. My siding melted and the smell of diesel washed down into the foundation of my basement with all the water, but we were all lucky it wasn't worse. They said his metal roof and siding contained most of the blaze.

It has been an interesting week, to say the least.

 

[thistlebloom]

Amanda, thank God nobody was hurt and your house is still standing!
That must have been terrifying. I never realized you had a neighbor that close.

I'm sorry to hear your dad is having such a struggle again. I can only imagine the strain and worry you're carrying now. Praying for strength and the best outcome for you and your dad.