old clawfoot tub memorial garden... suggestions?

[purplebaby7]

background: my 13 yr old dd's best friend of 9 yrs died in a car accident 3 weeks ago. (horrific crash at an hour of the day 2am she should have been sleeping not sneaking out for joy rides :| ). dd is heartbroken. we planted a memorial garden together for my 3 yr old nephew after he died in march (all reds). my dd wants to do one for her friend.

here are the questions:
she wants to plant in a clawfoot tub my b-i-l had in his shed. he gave it to her. dirt and compost i have. i need to know what i can do to prepare this for optimal success. do i need more drainage? should i put in gravel or broken pottery at bottom?

she would also like rainbows painted on it. any suggestions for paint?
and she wants as much color as possible for flowers. we live on long island ny probably zone 7 :rainbow-sun

thanks for any help healing my dd's heart thru gardening,
mb

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Sorry for your daughter's loss of her friend. Seems too early in life to deal with such things.

I like the tub idea. Hee hee, if it were me, I'd decorate it with rubber duckies instead of rainbows, but that's just me.

In terms of suggesting plants, that's not an easy thing. My advice would be to decide where you will site the tub (sun, shade, part sun) and go from there. I would recommend planting in phases, not all at once. Every time your daughter is feeling particularly grief struck, you could run her to a nursery and she could pick up something that strikes her (and suits the site). That way you will end up with things flowering at about every possible time of year (or berries, foliage, etc. in the winter).

Unless you have the ability to put extra drainage in the tub, I would indeed add a good layer of gravel at the bottom. You probably only need 8-10" of soil depth to make it work. Fill the rest with gravel at the bottom.

I hope this project brings some joy to your daughter.

 

[purplebaby7]

that is a really great idea, planting in "need stages" i think that could help. it has helped me with the garden for my nephew, thinking about it. when i get really down i go get another plant or sculpture "for"dale.

rainbows were something between the two girls. they had matching bracelets, the other girl's was on the ground after the accident, i saw it on the news. i went and got it for my daughter. i will definitely be picking up a large rubber duck for the tub tho, now that u mentioned it!

 

[DrakeMaiden]

That is sad about the rainbow bracelets. Now I see why she wants a rainbow motif. What is the bracelet made out of . . . waterproof beads? It might make a cute necklace for the rubber ducky. Good for you for picking the bracelet up.

Rubber duckies never fail to make me smile. That's why I suggested it.

Good luck. I hope the process of building this garden is healing and bonding for you both.

 

[patandchickens]

One thought, to bump up the color quotient and to make any less-than-thriving plants less conspicuous, would be to add a bunch of Decorations to the mix. You know, like the ornaments-on-stakes and gazing balls and fleamarket finds and that type of thing, anything weatherproof that can be salted into the garden. Possibly rainbow-theme things, possibly others, whatever your daughter finds that seems 'meaningful' or whatever to her.

Pat

 

[purplebaby7]

awesome idea guys! thanks so much!!

 

[SewingDiva]

Flowers and herbs also have lots of meanings and this nice website explains them:

The Meaning of Flowers

~Phyllis

 

[robbobbin]

Such a terrible loss.
Give thanks that your dd was home safe, and not out with her best friend.
Peace

 

[theOEGBman]

Im so sorry for your daughter's loss. I lost a friend in 7th grade to a heart disease, she was 13 and I was 12. I planted blue Morning Glories for her, as blue was her favorite color. I had a bush that got baby blue flowers on it every year, but we had to leave it when we moved. I really hope this will help your daughter out, its not easy losing someone at such a young age, or any age to be honest. I really love the idea of planting in stages though, that is a great one.

 

[purplebaby7]

Such a terrible loss.
Give thanks that your dd was home safe, and not out with her best friend.
Peace

that would be why the dd was not allowed at the bf house but only here, where my pitties would give the sneaking out away!! thank god!

you have all been so helpful and full of great ideas thanks!

i do understand her pain as my friend died when i was 13 also, but he was on a bike in the middle of the day. it never seemed real b4 that and all of a sudden it is way too real. this coupled with the sudden loss of her 3 yr old cousin only months ago is very stressful. for all of us.....