The Lone Gardener

[so lucky]

I see posts where we mention our significant other pretty often, but not too many mention that spouse actually helping in the garden. I was wondering if you, like me, are a lone gardener, or does that better half do half the work? Or any of the work?
I often wish my DH would help out some, but if he took responsibility of any of it, he would probably want to do it his way instead of mine. I can take all the credit, and all the blame, if something bombs. As it is, the garden is one place I know I can be by myself. Sort of a refuge.
How about you? Is it all your responsibility, or do you have a helpful partner?

 

[PhilaGardener]

I like the sanctuary aspect! Just a place I can go, close the gate behind me and breathe the oxygen!

 

[journey11]

My DH usually provides the muscle when I need help, but mostly the garden is my thing. Our old tiller I could run myself, but now that we use my dad's tiller...that thing would drag me clear across the yard! (And has.) Too much HP for me, so hubby tills and looks to see if I'm satisfied with it yet and gets grumpy when I tell him to make another pass. LOL. Same thing with the tomato stakes. He's taller and can better handle swinging the sledge-hammer on the tops of those posts, all 60 of them.

I remember one year I was in a hurry to get everything planted before a storm rolled in. I do remember him poking some seeds in the garden that time.

I told him this year I was planning to scale back and maybe not plant the big garden this year, so he says he'll help me, says he'll haul all the mulch I need, says he'll do it all. I told him no way, I'm not betting on it! Not that he wouldn't want to help me, but I know he'll be busy with mowing and other things, working overtime, etc. It's not gonna happen!

 

[baymule]

Oh, good topic! I started a garden close to 10 years ago--in the front yard! DH said I was nuts, I said there was no sunshine in the back yard. Good sport that he is, he got a helper and made 3 beds to my specifications. Still shaking his head and calling me crazy, he bit into that first tomato and decided I wasn't so crazy after all. The next year, I built the rest of the beds. The garden is in the strip of dirt between the sidewalk and driveway. I cut it into beds 4-5 feet wide with brick walkways. So that's one thing he did in the garden.

It was my job to dig it up with a shovel, mix in horse manure that I shoveled into the back of his truck HORRORS! What I did to his truck!!! We have scalding hot summers and DH would water the garden for me so I could cook supper when I got home from work, or else we would have been eating at 8 PM. Plus, watering the garden was something he could do without screwing it up (don't tell him I said that) and he felt like he was contributing. He also liked to pick stuff. And eat it. Especially eat it.

I make him turn around and go back to that house that has piles of bagged leaves and load the truck down with them. He willingly goes and shovels horse manure with me to build a compost pile or potato bin. He was delighted that I asked him to help me build a chicken wire bin, layer it with leaves and horse manure, for planting potatoes in, a few months ago.

When I told him I was going to build a PVC frame greenhouse several years ago, he thought I had lost what little sense I do have. I had never done anything with PVC before, so it was interesting. But I got it made and he helped me lift it up and put it down on rebar stakes I drove in the ground. He helps every year to wrap it in plastic and duct tape. He complained about it the first year, but once again, fresh tomatoes all winter shut him up.

Mostly, the garden is mine. Most of the work is mine. I always worked and so did he. I was off Saturdays and Sundays, he was Sundays and Mondays. It gave me Saturday to do my things I like to do. He thinks he is helping, but most of the time he is in my way and aggravating me. There is a rhythm to physical work, and he doesn't have it. I an the "handy (wo)man" at our house. Not being mean, he has his talents, but not so much in the garden/building/tools/animals world. (I built the chicken coop on Saturdays so he wouldn't "help" me)

Now I stay home to take care of my mom and the garden is my refuge. It gives me something to do, occupy my time and I feel like I am contributing to the house hold by growing something for us to eat and lightening the grocery bill. And he still contributes by eating the goodies.

 

[Carol Dee]

The garden keeps getting bigger, and that is my husbands doing! He is talking about making the blackberry beds longer and moving things around! You bet he helps. There is so much I can not do myself... like run the tiller, move yards of mulch, set fence posts, etc. I do 90 % of the weeding and half the planting and watering. I do most of the preserving. He does help with tomatoes if we have bushels to get done. He might actually enjoy the garden more than I do! And wants to get the Grandsons out there more this summer.

 

[thistlebloom]

Lone Gardener here!
The kids used to help with the lawn and weed mowing in exchange for 3 hots and a cot, but those days are gone.
Then I did it all for several years, but the last two years dh has stepped up and does all the lawn and most of the weed mowing.

I still do all of the actual gardening, building and planting new perennial beds and vegetable gardens. The dry creek beds are all mine, but he has helped haul some of the rock.

The animals have always been my sole responsibility.

But he is easy going about all the critters that have "followed" me home over the last 36 years even though he's not an animal person, and is happy to build shelters and coops and corrals. Which is very good since I'm sort of relaxed about tape measures and levels.

I love the work, and like others have mentioned the solitude is nice.

 

[digitS']

I am the lone gardener only in one garden and even there, things will get ahead of me once or twice a year and I'll need help. The big veggie garden, I'm only the lone gardener when something extraordinary needs to be done. Otherwise, I have DW's help.

I'm pretty much the lone gardener right now in the greenhouse but that will change. I'll do all of the larger transplants. She does most of the transplanting of the tiny things. Otherwise, I'd be absolutely forever moving snapdragon and basil seedlings around!

Yes, I run the tiller but I don't like it. She has had various ideas about a rototiller. She sometimes thinks that it is less dangerous to my health than hand tools. THAT is really not true!

There are a lot of things that DW can do more quickly than I can. You know how harvesting can be a real chore with the long hours. If sauerkraut could be made out of washing lettuce - I can do that! Give her a stool and a basin and she's willing and able.

Steve

 

[Lavender2]

Oh my DH, my sweet DH, ... he is a fantastic cook, does most of the canning, and pushes the wheelbarrow when I fill it so full I can't move it. We sort of take turns mowing the grass and he sometimes helps with spring clean-up. In his defense tho, he has a very stressful and labor intensive job.

So the rest is my thing, but I enjoy it. And DH knows that it is not a good idea to bring me a phone or tell me that it's dark out.

 

[hoodat]

I live alone so I have no choice. If it has to be done I have to do it.

 

[buckabucka]

DH was on this property first, and he had a strange style of gardening. You must plant the whole packet of seed, and no thinning! Plants want to grow and you must not discourage them.

I imposed my style of planning ahead, organizing, and thinning. It became mostly my project for a time, with DH helping with the tilling.

Then DH got a tractor and built the hoop houses and became much more involved. I do start all the seedlings, and do 95% of the planting. He does all of the canning and much of the freezing and drying, tilling, weeding, hoop house moving, etc. I would have to seriously downsize (and learn to run the tractor) or retire, to pull this off myself! DH is pretty much retired now, which is a huge help.