Was I Wrong ?

[Nyboy]

Sunday night I take my father out to eat. When we got to the door of diner a woman in her 40s and 2 teenage girls where leaving, I held open the door for them.When all 3 walked by me without saying a word I very loudly said your welcome, the older woman turned and looked at me, but still didn't say anything. My father got very angry with me, we fought all though dinner. My father felt it not my place to teach someone manners and I embarrassed the woman in front of her kids. I felt I did nothing wrong. It was not a happy meal.

 

[Smart Red]

Chalk up one more wrong to your dad's growing list. I would have done the same thing on the off chance she had said, "Thank you" too softly to hear. She deserved "Your welcome" either way.

I celebrate being able to be of help to others in expectation of reciprocity in my old age. Therefore, my "Your welcome" would have been offered in the same cheerful voice as it would have been had she said "Thank you". Perhaps dad objected to the tone of your words rather than to the content? Only you would know that.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I tend to agree with your father. Holding the door for them showed good manners. How they react has nothing to do with your manners. You can only control what you do.

By saying your welcome like you did you changed it from basic good manners into a confrontational thing. You are trying to enforce your rules onto a total stranger. I often hold the door for people regardless of age, sex, or condition like someone with kids or a handicap. If they are friendly and appreciative I just smile and nod, maybe saying you're welcome. If they say something rude I just smile and nod and go about my business.

Forgive your enemies -- it messes with their heads

 

[aftermidnight]

Hmmmm, I would have just shrugged it off, thinking to myself it takes all kinds and carried on, Hubby on he other hand would have said 'Your Welcome' with a sarcastic tone in his voice LOL.

Annette

 

[Nyboy]

LOL Thanks for reminder Ridge.

 

[Carol Dee]

I feel your frustration. A thank you is always in order. But guess we can not help those that do not know they are lacking in manners. As Smart Red suggested it might have been the tone in which it was offered that offended Dad and the woman. Try sounding cheerful even when you are annoyed, which can garner the same response I'd suppose, but not because you where rude!

 

[ninnymary]

It ticks me off when people are rude like that and don't say thank you. In this opportunity there were 3 individuals who could have said it. If the mom didn't teach her kids how to say it, they are surely at the age where they could have learned it themselves. I always say "your welcome" but in my normal voice which by then they have turned around and don't hear. It's more for my benefit to make me feel better.

I'll always remember the day we took our 18 month old grandson and his sister out to breakfast. Our grandson said "tank you" when his food came. The sad part was that the waiter in his rush didn't hear it. I know he would have gotten a blessing out of it because I'm sure their are adults and children who don't always say that.

Mary

 

[Ridgerunner]

Especially since it was in metropolitan New York, I don't know if that woman was from a culture where it would be bad manners for her to acknowledge a man doing that. I realize that is a stretch, but I usually enjoyed listening to Paul Harvey.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rest_of_the_Story

 

[seedcorn]

You made 2 mistakes. One. Her problem by not saying thank you. Second, you allowed it to ruin your meal. Should have just went on. Then should have never argued with Dad. Just say, your right, forget it, enjoy meal.

See what married with children teaches you?

 

[aftermidnight]

LOL, if I had said anything to my hubby that he might have embarrassed her in front of her kids, he'd just say good, I hope she learned something from it, her kids too. Being polite doesn't cost a thing.

Annette