words that ramble

[digitS']

Remember Lou Ferrigno? Remember Marlee Matlin in the movie about a school for the deaf, "Children of a Lesser God" . . ? Remember how they talk? I'm relying on memory for that.

I seem to be losing my ability to pronounce words properly. I don't know what it sounds like when I move my mouth in a certain way and not another.

I wore hearing aids for nearly 30 years and finally stopped wearing them 3 weeks ago. They weren't helping. I saw the ENT doctor about 5 months ago and got a pat on the head with some encouragement to buy new hearing aids because, "comprehension would be improved." I don't know. It is about the same thing that was said the last 3 or 4 aids I have gotten. I've been disappointed.

It isn't that I don't hear some sounds. It is that I don't understand words easily. This has been going on for more than 30 years - when I was told I should have begun wearing hearing aids "probably 10 years earlier." When I was 15, I had a hearing test and was told something about having lost "30%." I thought it might have been 30% of my hearing but have been told that this would have been a severe loss so it must have meant 30% of my word comprehension. Responding to spoken words is a part of the hearing test. It isn't just responding to tones beeped into your ears.

It is kind of funny how when I wear hearing aids, people notice and often speak loudly and directly to me. When I don't wear hearing aids -- people must assume that I have normal hearing. Fooled you! Otherwise, things are about the same. I make dramatic leaps of assumption about what someone has said to me! It seems to work -- at least, I don't get beaten up often.

In 2005, I realized that I understood about 1 word out of 10 that was spoken during a meeting. I decided that year that me going to those meetings and playing some role in decisions had to come to an end. Gosh, it has been 8 years! I had already passed the "official" line of severely hearing impaired during the 90's. This has been one long slow slide . . .

I'd prefer not to have expressions of sympathy. My hearing loss somewhat explains my appreciation for the forum community, don't you know?! I think it is important for us to share the important things in our lives. I also think it is important for hearing people to have a little understanding of how the non-hearing may become isolated. And, if you have a disability, realize that adjusting and adapting is a lot of what life is all about.

Steve

 

[fair weather chicken]

several things come to mind but i don't want to appear flip. my job seems to stress me just because i let it. so i commune with my pigs and cow. just sitting there and watching them seems to help. they are easily understood by me, and they don't care if i just stare at them. like i said at the beginning, i didn't want to sound flip. i know that i have hearing loss, but nowhere near as severe as yours. hope for the best for you.

 

[lesa]

Well, Steve it seems you have found a great way to communicate! I certainly enjoy the way you hear me- and the way you respond to my problems, concerns, etc. My mother is not particularly hard of hearing- but her brain has trouble processing words. So, she is often asking people to repeat what they say. Unfortunately, it rarely helps her understand. The art of communicating...

 

[Carol Dee]

Steve. Thanks for sharing. Many of us can understand that since they are going through the same things themselves or with parents and spouses. Sure glad you are able to comunicate so well here. My Dad shares your frustration with hearing aids. He seldom wears them anymore.

 

[baymule]

Steve, you might not "hear" the spoken word, but you sure "hear" what is on this forum. Your advice, help and encouragement is liberally sprinkled throughout this forum. You are the one who explained to me how to post pictures here. You identified what nasty worms were eating my tomatoes last spring. You are a valuable member of this forum and thanks for all the help!!

 

[peteyfoozer]

I can understand what you mean. My hearing is so bad I refuse to use a telephone, as I cannot figure out half of what people are saying on it. Unfortunatley my kids live 18 hours away and don't like to email, so I don't hear from them much at all. I couldn't hear my husband B4 my hearing got really bad as he hardly makes any noise even when he does talk, which is rare. I noticed 3 years ago that if someone isn't looking right at me, I can't even begin to figure out what they are saying. I don't read lips but it seems to really make a difference in guessing the words and sounds I do hear. If a movie doesn't have closed captioning, I won't bother to watch. I know what I am saying, just not anyone else. I didn't always have difficulty hearing as you seem to have had, but I am not adjusting well.
I appreciate the online forums too, for the same reason. It's the only way I can communicate well. Three cheers for the internet!

 

[Smart Red]

My problem is on the other side of the coin. DH has been loosing his ability to understand what others are saying and refuses to admit he has a problem. It's not the loud TV or the constant repeating of everything that bothers me. It is that he lets me do most of the talking and I feel that people are seeing me as the family 'pants' wearer and him trending to a second childhood.

Even at 76, he remains one of the smartest, most wonderful people I know and it hurts me to have people talking over him.

As an aside -- anyone know where/how I get a captioned phone and how well they work?

 

[so lucky]

Smart Red, I don't know if a captioned phone is the same as a TTD, but you might check on the net for something. I believe they used to be supplied free of charge by the phone company.
Regarding loss in hearing, I am finding that my brain doesn't engage right away. And this is a problem my DH is having, too. If I clear my throat or say "Uh" then pause a half a second before I ask a question or make a comment, he will hear me, but if I don't do the preliminary thing, I have to repeat the whole thing. It's like using a headset if you talk on the phone a lot. It seems to turn off while no one is speaking, then when someone says something, it takes a second to start working. And you lose those first two or three words that were said.

My mom and dad were married in 1945, and Dad just died two years ago, so they were together a heck of a long time. As Dad got more deaf in the last few years, he would lose out on so much of the conversation that he often missed plans being made, then would get mad at us (understandably) when he would be surprised with the outing, plans, or whatever. He missed out on so much. Most people didn't stop and look directly at him or bother to talk just a tad slower. But you know, I noticed Mom doing something when she was talking to someone besides Dad in the room. She consistently, would casually put her hand up and obscure Dad's vision of her mouth, so he was not able to lip-read. It was not private conversation, just normal comments. Dad was forever asking her to repeat herself, or misunderstanding what she was saying. I doubt if she was conscious of doing this---I hope she was not doing it on purpose because it is pretty cruel. On the other hand, if you are constantly with someone who is slowly losing his grip on reality, as well as his hearing, you might do what ever you can to maintain a piece of yourself.
Steve, I like this forum for lots of reasons. You being a vital part of it is one of the reasons.

 

[digitS']

All kind words -- Thank You!

I will be okay. It just seems like there are tipping points where things just will not fall into place anymore.

Communication isn't perfect for anyone, no matter what the form and how much effort is put into it. I find it sad to imagine the time when literacy was very limited and oral communication was really all 95% of us had. I am coming to think it was a sad time when the telephone was only for the hearing - I gotta cell phone that can text!! My kids are starting to use it to "talk" to me even when we are in the same house !

Captioned phones? I tried those about 15 years ago. I was fine with them but the interface of the calling assistance was waaay too much for most people. It takes some real convincing with some folks that I really can not communicate with them on the phone! Even now. Even with people who really, really should know! It is too much a tool for some folks to comprehend that some of us just can't use it.

It is a limitless universe. That must mean something to communication. Let's see if it does.

Steve

 

[thistlebloom]

Steve the changes you mentioned must make a phenomenal difference in so many peoples lives. Those who are immobilized can get around online, the hearing impaired can take an active part in conversations, and we can all be a small part of peoples lives whom we will probably never meet. I'm happy for it, and happy to participate and listen and be heard.