Worried About Dad

Nyboy

Nyboy

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My best friend's aunt lives in the house across the street from my dad. She just called me at work, my dad is on a ladder painting trim on 2nd floor windows. Sunday night I had dinner with him, he said something about buying paint for new garage doors. I can not leave work, even If I did go to house he would not listen to me. When ever I tell him he can not do anything his reply is mind my own business. He gets dizzy spells if he falls he will land on cement. Going to be along day.
 
Argh, parents!
My Dad was the same luckily Brother lived next door and would go HELP him. As in you stay on the ground Dad while I climb the ladder, etc... In his 80's he wanted to paint the house it mself. We made it a party, all the kids and grands had it done in a matter of hours than a BBQ to celebrate.
 
Sounds just like my dad... He's going to do what he wants to do or die trying, otherwise life would not be worth living. It's a fine line, to know where to intervene or leave their dignity intact.

About every other week or so, my dad tells me his medicines are making him dizzy. He thinks the doctors don't know what they're doing and are trying to kill him. I can't seem to get through to him how complicated his condition is and that the alternative to the unpleasant side-effects is death. :\

He called me yesterday to tell me not to worry, that everything was ok and he was heading out to the farm to work. I wasn't able to gather whether this meant he was resolved to take his meds or if he had picked out the one he believes is the trouble-maker. o_O
 
I am very lucky both my sisters do a lot to take care of my dad. My little sister handles his bill paying. Some Einstein at the bank gave him a ATM card He doesn't understand overdraft fees. He thinks if the machine gives him money he is good. I do feel for sister having to clean up his money mess every month.
 
Journey my fathers reply is If I can't do that anymore I might as well be dead. last week in middle of heatwave he spent whole day trimming hedges and cutting grass, did not drink anything, end of day had to crawl up stairs on hands and knees, spent next day in bed.
 
Your father sounds a lot like my Clayton. For years he told me he wanted to die working. Heatwave or no, he couldn't be kept from going out to work. Best I could do was hydrate, suggest going out for a meal, and order a shower with change of clothes every few hours. Took three showers one day.
 
Both DH and I will be 80 in 2017, but so far have had enough smarts left in the old noggins to know there are things we shouldn't be doing anymore, so we don't. Bones get brittle at our age so no more climbing ladders to clean the chimney or washing or painting ceilings, or other things we didn't think twice about doing 10 years ago. I still wash the ceiling in the kitchen but with a long handled squidgy (I think that's the word, but if it isn't you get my drift). Inside windows with the exception of the kitchen I can clean with feet planted firmly on the floor, Our outside windows I have a pole thingy and just spray with the hose to finish off. I can still mange my little electric mantis but I'm now very conscious where I put my feet now and always look behind me before I back up.
I understand how your parents feel, it's hard letting go of things that you've always done yourself, sadly it has a lot to do not wanting to admit that you have reached that stage, I say stage instead of age when you have to rely on others as there is no fixed age when this will happen to each of us, hopefully we are all smart enough to realize when it finally catches up to you.

Annette
 
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