1. Dismiss Notice
  2. Official TEG Poll: What is your garden style?
    CLICK HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice
  3. Donation Requests - Support Sumi's Health Recovery Fund - Featured Thread
    CLICK HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice
  4. TEG Picture of the Week (POW) - Submit your Pics Now !!
    Click HERE!
    (if you are logged in, this notice can be dismissed using the "x" to the top right of the notice)

    Dismiss Notice

Did I miss something?

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Gardening with Rabbits, Apr 26, 2019.

  1. May 7, 2019
    ninnymary

    ninnymary Garden Master

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2009
    Messages:
    11,576
    Likes Received:
    9,547
    Trophy Points:
    407
    Location:
    San Francisco East Bay
    Steve, I too have noticed that you weren't posting much. Glad to know the reasons so not to worry. Can't believe your dad is 101. Is he still able to walk and eat and do those kinds of things?

    Mary
     
    flowerbug likes this.
  2. Jun 11, 2019
    digitS'

    digitS' Garden Master

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    8,565
    Trophy Points:
    457
    Location:
    border, ID/WA(!)
    He needs lots of care. Dad's presence in my home dominated all other activities - as, it must.

    After right close to 100 days here, his adult grandchildren arranged his move into assisted living yesterday. For me, it is a relief of a caregiver's burden. There is something that should be understood about the "very old:" Their children are not likely to be young and spry. If they were, it is probably true that they have even more caregiving responsibilities - you know, the "sandwich" generation.

    Both DW and I have health problems but our kids have not been burdens on us for years. They have been a real source of help with their grandfather and continuing. We, together, must find ways to draw to close his property responsibilities. There, I've used that burdensome word again. Responding is essential and it is nearly impossible for the very old - adjusting and adapting to life just becomes too limited. Dad is even facing a lawsuit if steps cannot be made.

    That means, like it or not, his family has to make the changes that modern life requires. I have said that I tend to do nothing but what trivial things bring me pleasure if someone or something doesn't suffer from my inaction. That someone may include me: I still have pneumonia symptoms, the recent x-ray showed, and still getting medical treatment (for adult-onset asthma). Venturing beyond home and gardens is nearly always to pharmacy or healthcare, for one of us or another. Ridiculous existence!

    It's probable that I never should have even thought of gardening in 2019. It's been a part of my life so long, I couldn't imagine not gardening. Dad's move in with us, after his 4th hospital stay in 2 years, came just at the time when I had to become more of a homebody with attention to the greenhouse. So ... I had another hothouse plant to care for. Except, Dad's improvement was limited while what was in the greenhouse grew every day. One gets caught up in that life, as I knew I would. It is a refreshing experience - daily!

    DW and I will head out soon for the distant garden. Worry about what is happening at home will be at 1% from previous 3 months. Woo-hoo! A chance to actually enjoy weeding ... and, seeing how things are growing :D

    Steve
     
  3. Jun 11, 2019
    flowerbug

    flowerbug Garden Addicted

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2017
    Messages:
    5,494
    Likes Received:
    4,291
    Trophy Points:
    297
    Location:
    mid-Michigan, USoA
    always glad to hear what is going on and also glad to hear you are able to get back to gardening. you're in my thoughts for good recovery from the illness, some sunshine in moderation and keep hydrated...

    i am seeing signs here of more caretaker things coming at me. i think it will be gradual enough that i'll adapt as i can.

    i'm sorry your Dad needs that much care and you were both not able to do that, but i also understand for sure as i know i could not do it for certain relatives of mine either.

    i sure hope the potential/legal issues and home resolution gets taken care of with the least amount of hassle.
     
    Carol Dee and digitS' like this.
  4. Jun 11, 2019
    Ridgerunner

    Ridgerunner Garden Master

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2009
    Messages:
    6,639
    Likes Received:
    5,190
    Trophy Points:
    377
    Location:
    Southeast Louisiana Zone 9A
    I can remember what a great relief it was when Mom moved into assisted care. I was not the caregiver but the worry about her having a serious injury or worse trying to do things on her own was immense. There were incidents. And my mother-in-law. With her Alzheimers she could not be taken care of at home. I honor you for doing what you could for as long as you could but sometimes it becomes too much.
     
  5. Jun 11, 2019
    ninnymary

    ninnymary Garden Master

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2009
    Messages:
    11,576
    Likes Received:
    9,547
    Trophy Points:
    407
    Location:
    San Francisco East Bay
    Steve, so sorry you are going through those hardships. Taking care of loved us takes its toll on us. My MIL with alzheimer's was being taken care of by my SIL and FIL. The stress aged my SIL. Fortunately my FIL did not last long after his cancer diagnosis. It was a blessing to him and us that he went quickly.

    I hope getting back to sunshine and the things you love will help you to recover.

    Mary
     
  6. Jun 11, 2019
    Rhodie Ranch

    Rhodie Ranch Garden Master

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,128
    Likes Received:
    2,073
    Trophy Points:
    303
    Location:
    Southern Oregon
    Gentle hugs and quiet pat pat pats on the back, from me to you.
     
    Carol Dee, digitS' and flowerbug like this.
  7. Jun 12, 2019
    baymule

    baymule Garden Master

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    13,371
    Likes Received:
    15,446
    Trophy Points:
    417
    Location:
    Northeast Texas
    I have walked in your shoes, caring for a parent. It is a hard road to travel. Big hugs for the care you gave, it is hard to let go, hard to let you parent go to a care facility, but sometimes that is all you can do.
     
    thistlebloom, flowerbug and digitS' like this.
  8. Jun 12, 2019
    digitS'

    digitS' Garden Master

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    8,565
    Trophy Points:
    457
    Location:
    border, ID/WA(!)
    Visited Dad this evening.

    Wow, he is so much more clear in person than he was on the phone. Taking his 2nd call: I say hello this is Steve how are you Dad? He says who is this? I say Steve. He names my daughter. I say No, let me try this without a hearing aid. He hangs up ..!

    He called back and seemed really, really confused. Couldn’t get to his closet. No socks. Couldn’t get out to go “down there.” Where? “Assisted Living.” He didn’t seem to know that he had made it to assisted living ...

    Took him more clothes, his phone charger and hearing aid batteries. He told me that he had found his socks before I handed him more.

    It went about as well as could be hoped. 4:55. He said that it was about dinner time. I said, “Oh no, I can’t stay to eat!” He says, “Well, I can!”

    I hope that the next time he loses his phone (last time was Saturday when it was under the coffee table but he thought it was outside) That It Stays Lost!

    Steve
     
  9. Jun 12, 2019
    so lucky

    so lucky Garden Master

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2011
    Messages:
    8,105
    Likes Received:
    4,468
    Trophy Points:
    377
    Location:
    SE Missouri, Zone 6
    I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for both hearing impaired people trying to have a phone conversation. :hugs
     
    flowerbug and digitS' like this.
  10. Jun 12, 2019
    Gardening with Rabbits

    Gardening with Rabbits Garden Addicted

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2012
    Messages:
    2,527
    Likes Received:
    2,702
    Trophy Points:
    277
    Location:
    Northern Idaho - Zone 5B
    My dad had to wear hearing aids after he went blind and he always said it was worse losing his hearing than his eyesight. I guess I did fit in the sandwich generation. DD was 6 and I just started homeschooling her, DS was just a month old and my mother's health started to fail. She lived with my brother next door. It was hard but we took care of her as long as we could and then her health issues were too many to live at home, but I was younger, but there was a lot of stress, not as much stress as DH though. I hope the garden and sun heal your lungs. I am slowly recovering from last year and the last pulmonary embolism. Your dad sounds like he is settling into his new home.
     

Share This Page