Did I miss something?

ninnymary

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Steve, I too have noticed that you weren't posting much. Glad to know the reasons so not to worry. Can't believe your dad is 101. Is he still able to walk and eat and do those kinds of things?

Mary
 

digitS'

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He needs lots of care. Dad's presence in my home dominated all other activities - as, it must.

After right close to 100 days here, his adult grandchildren arranged his move into assisted living yesterday. For me, it is a relief of a caregiver's burden. There is something that should be understood about the "very old:" Their children are not likely to be young and spry. If they were, it is probably true that they have even more caregiving responsibilities - you know, the "sandwich" generation.

Both DW and I have health problems but our kids have not been burdens on us for years. They have been a real source of help with their grandfather and continuing. We, together, must find ways to draw to close his property responsibilities. There, I've used that burdensome word again. Responding is essential and it is nearly impossible for the very old - adjusting and adapting to life just becomes too limited. Dad is even facing a lawsuit if steps cannot be made.

That means, like it or not, his family has to make the changes that modern life requires. I have said that I tend to do nothing but what trivial things bring me pleasure if someone or something doesn't suffer from my inaction. That someone may include me: I still have pneumonia symptoms, the recent x-ray showed, and still getting medical treatment (for adult-onset asthma). Venturing beyond home and gardens is nearly always to pharmacy or healthcare, for one of us or another. Ridiculous existence!

It's probable that I never should have even thought of gardening in 2019. It's been a part of my life so long, I couldn't imagine not gardening. Dad's move in with us, after his 4th hospital stay in 2 years, came just at the time when I had to become more of a homebody with attention to the greenhouse. So ... I had another hothouse plant to care for. Except, Dad's improvement was limited while what was in the greenhouse grew every day. One gets caught up in that life, as I knew I would. It is a refreshing experience - daily!

DW and I will head out soon for the distant garden. Worry about what is happening at home will be at 1% from previous 3 months. Woo-hoo! A chance to actually enjoy weeding ... and, seeing how things are growing :D

Steve
 

flowerbug

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He needs lots of care. Dad's presence in my home dominated all other activities - as, it must.

After right close to 100 days here, his adult grandchildren arranged his move into assisted living yesterday. For me, it is a relief of a caregiver's burden. There is something that should be understood about the "very old:" Their children are not likely to be young and spry. If they were, it is probably true that they have even more caregiving responsibilities - you know, the "sandwich" generation.

Both DW and I have health problems but our kids have not been burdens on us for years. They have been a real source of help with their grandfather and continuing. We, together, must find ways to draw to close his property responsibilities. There, I've used that burdensome word again. Responding is essential and it is nearly impossible for the very old - adjusting and adapting to life just becomes too limited. Dad is even facing a lawsuit if steps cannot be made.

That means, like it or not, his family has to make the changes that modern life requires. I have said that I tend to do nothing but what trivial things bring me pleasure if someone or something doesn't suffer from my inaction. That someone may include me: I still have pneumonia symptoms, the recent x-ray showed, and still getting medical treatment (for adult-onset asthma). Venturing beyond home and gardens is nearly always to pharmacy or healthcare, for one of us or another. Ridiculous existence!

It's probable that I never should have even thought of gardening in 2019. It's been a part of my life so long, I couldn't imagine not gardening. Dad's move in with us, after his 4th hospital stay in 2 years, came just at the time when I had to become more of a homebody with attention to the greenhouse. So ... I had another hothouse plant to care for. Except, Dad's improvement was limited while what was in the greenhouse grew every day. One gets caught up in that life, as I knew I would. It is a refreshing experience - daily!

DW and I will head out soon for the distant garden. Worry about what is happening at home will be at 1% from previous 3 months. Woo-hoo! A chance to actually enjoy weeding ... and, seeing how things are growing :D

Steve
always glad to hear what is going on and also glad to hear you are able to get back to gardening. you're in my thoughts for good recovery from the illness, some sunshine in moderation and keep hydrated...

i am seeing signs here of more caretaker things coming at me. i think it will be gradual enough that i'll adapt as i can.

i'm sorry your Dad needs that much care and you were both not able to do that, but i also understand for sure as i know i could not do it for certain relatives of mine either.

i sure hope the potential/legal issues and home resolution gets taken care of with the least amount of hassle.
 

Ridgerunner

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I can remember what a great relief it was when Mom moved into assisted care. I was not the caregiver but the worry about her having a serious injury or worse trying to do things on her own was immense. There were incidents. And my mother-in-law. With her Alzheimers she could not be taken care of at home. I honor you for doing what you could for as long as you could but sometimes it becomes too much.
 

ninnymary

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Steve, so sorry you are going through those hardships. Taking care of loved us takes its toll on us. My MIL with alzheimer's was being taken care of by my SIL and FIL. The stress aged my SIL. Fortunately my FIL did not last long after his cancer diagnosis. It was a blessing to him and us that he went quickly.

I hope getting back to sunshine and the things you love will help you to recover.

Mary
 

baymule

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I have walked in your shoes, caring for a parent. It is a hard road to travel. Big hugs for the care you gave, it is hard to let go, hard to let you parent go to a care facility, but sometimes that is all you can do.
 

digitS'

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Visited Dad this evening.

Wow, he is so much more clear in person than he was on the phone. Taking his 2nd call: I say hello this is Steve how are you Dad? He says who is this? I say Steve. He names my daughter. I say No, let me try this without a hearing aid. He hangs up ..!

He called back and seemed really, really confused. Couldn’t get to his closet. No socks. Couldn’t get out to go “down there.” Where? “Assisted Living.” He didn’t seem to know that he had made it to assisted living ...

Took him more clothes, his phone charger and hearing aid batteries. He told me that he had found his socks before I handed him more.

It went about as well as could be hoped. 4:55. He said that it was about dinner time. I said, “Oh no, I can’t stay to eat!” He says, “Well, I can!”

I hope that the next time he loses his phone (last time was Saturday when it was under the coffee table but he thought it was outside) That It Stays Lost!

Steve
 

Gardening with Rabbits

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My dad had to wear hearing aids after he went blind and he always said it was worse losing his hearing than his eyesight. I guess I did fit in the sandwich generation. DD was 6 and I just started homeschooling her, DS was just a month old and my mother's health started to fail. She lived with my brother next door. It was hard but we took care of her as long as we could and then her health issues were too many to live at home, but I was younger, but there was a lot of stress, not as much stress as DH though. I hope the garden and sun heal your lungs. I am slowly recovering from last year and the last pulmonary embolism. Your dad sounds like he is settling into his new home.
 
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