For My Frozen Friends

[baymule]

Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler


December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had!


Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like h***. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the d*** stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
day The d*** snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.

Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying.

Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white s**** fell today, and it's so cold,
it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to p***. By the time I got undressed, p***ed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy.
I think the a**h*** is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a b**** who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his b**** and
beat him to death with my broken shovel.. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the d*** snowplow.

December 25
Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the d***
slop tonight - Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. D***, I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the h*** did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The B------ is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his a?. The wife went home to
her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
=================

 

[Chickie'sMomaInNH]

aahhhh.....
how true by the end of the season here. you either love it or hate it till it is gone. i'm hoping this will be a mild year for the amount of snow piling up.

glad i have the wood stove in this house because right now i'm cozied up near it and the cats seem to want to get even closer to it! been waiting to smell burnt fur from one of them being too close or curious as i pull open the door to feed it some more wood. .

 

[majorcatfish]

That's to funny... But so true
Can remember have to shovel and once back inside here comes the
Plow truck, bundle up again and start all over...
The last house that I lived in at Lake Tahoe the road going to
To the house was a dirt county road so they did not plow it.
After a massive snow fall 5 feet of the white stuff was up at the road and shoveling
The berm the plow truck left, here comes the county snow blower he took care of the berm
Noticed that I know him from the bridge tender "local bar" we talk a bit and asked why
The county does not plow dirt roads was told the trucks would ruin them
After talking a bit more he told me that for a bottle of jack he would do the road
Since I love jack had a bottle there in about 5 minutes I had a clear road, he visited me
At least once a winter for 6 year till I moved away.
Did make good money shoveling roofs.

The only thing I do not miss is being a slave to the wood stove
For 5 months at a time..

 

[digitS']

I start off hating it. That saves time. But, I don't have much to compare with the snows in the Sierra Nevadas!

It was nearly 50 years ago that I moved here. I wasn't gong to stop for long; I was going farther. I must have been nutz! Maybe it would have been a good thing to climb a couple more thousand feet up and another 100 or 200 miles north. I probably would have turned tail and skedaddled back to warmer, southern climes. As it is, I stayed put - near family, near nature, near perfect. . .

Oh, we have some disturbingly warm winters some years. Not often but lately . . . Then, I can worry about the forests around me burning up in the toasty, dry summers!

Drive in the winter? I really don't wanna! White knuckles as soon as I leave the driveway. I start right off trying to loosen my grip on the steering wheel so that I can make the turn. My shoulders are so stiff with cold and anxiety that I'm a wreck for the rest of the day no matter what happens out on the roadway.

The last few years, shoveling is my only exercise during the winter months. Yeah, I worry about overdoing it. It is hard to know what is going on with the old body out there in the deep freeze. I don't have any interest in winter sports - never have.

I don't know what I'm complaining about - as long as I can get out.

Steve

 

[897tgigvib]

Whooo! Didn't take long for cabin fever to set in for that guy!

Actually, where I lived in Montana the plow drivers were good at not getting snow on driveways, but Dillon did have an 8 am clear the sidewalks ordinance.

(I hated all the cracks on the sidewalk!)

Sliding the snow shovel along and *stop*. Jars the backbone every time I hit a crack in the sidewalk.

Tempted to put in a new sidewalk each year! One with no cracks, and specifically designed for ease of shoveling!

Know how much easier sidewalk snow shoveling would be with no cracks on it?

Amazing how some folks don't get cabin fever and others, whooo! Some wives just scoot their husbands off to the bar!

Dirt roads are hard on asphalt plows. Instead of switching plows, Tom Simpson just switched trucks. One for paved roads, the other for dirt roads. Both Tom and his son Tom Junior died in a car accident about 15 years ago. It took awhile to get a good plow driver after his death. Tom had "the touch" at it. He did not cover sidewalks. That was Twin Bridges.

Dillon has a different system than Twin Bridges. Many more roads. They only do minimal plowing. A separate truck comes by with salted dirt. They only spread it at intersections, about 100 feet.

Southerners, if it snows in your region, first decide if you really need to drive before driving. Then, if you do drive, there is an entirely different concept of speed.

Slow.

Where I am in the hills it will snow. Even though I have a Subaru, there will be places where speed is measured in tire revolutions per minute.

That is oozing slow.

I'll have to be ready for different feel this winter. The Subaru is stick shift. My old car was automatic. With an automatic, downhill on ice and snow is in neutral. I may stick with that since I got used to it, but now I have 4 wheels driving. It'll be better than my stick shift Chevette I had in Montana, then again, I'm older. The nut behind the wheel is more worn, lol!

Couple years ago I was in a snowstorm on Elk Mountain Road. I was driving 1 tire revolution per minute. I OUGHT TO GET HOME ANYTIME NOW!

 

[majorcatfish]

Southerners, if it snows in your region, first decide if you really need to drive before driving. Then, if you do drive, there is an entirely different concept of speed.

grew up driving in the snow of tahoe you had 2 sets of tires
from april to nov you had mud and snow tires on
from nov to april you had studded snow tires on
and when it was snowing hard you put your chains on 2x4 or 4x4

have been living in the south now for 15 years we don't get a lot on snow here maybe 4 times a year the best storm we have received in that time was 18", but we get mainly freezing rain/ sleet anywhere from
a 1/4"to 3" of ice or sleet. over the years the state and county has gotten better about brineing the main roads but that only lasts so long.
sorry to say the mentality of southerns is i have mud and snow tires on or i have a 4x4 i can go the normal speed.. it's a hoot when you get passed by one of these knuckleheads and go a couple miles down the road and they are off in a ditch.
like you said marshall go slow or don't go out at all.
with that said when the news shows a bad winter storm coming there 4 guarantees to come from it.
1. there is a run on beer and wine, bread, water, toilet paper,pet food, candles, propane etc etc
2. you cant find a bag of rock salt
3. schools, churches and business's close down till there is no more ice on the roads
4. you are going to loss power, better fill the bath tub if you have a well, kind of hard to flush with no power...

 

[Ridgerunner]

Ive lived where I've driven on snow and ice. Slow and steady. No quick acceleration, no sudden braking, no sharp turns. Slow and steady. Im pretty comfortable with my ability to drive on snow and ice but I prefer not to. Its the other drivers I really dont trust, especially where snow and ice is pretty rare. I stay home unless it is a huge emergency.

 

[Carol Dee]

From Dec 8 to Jan 8 and he has already reached a breaking point! Oh-oh. Good thing that guy doesn't live where winters are long. We had a 1st snow already (no shoveling, whew.) And it is very possible to still be shoveling in March.
Marshall, I hear your pain. We need a new sidewalk. (Looks like it is on the to do list for spring.) This one is old, cracked and crumbling. Really hard to shovel.

 

[bobm]

One year in early Jan., I was driving alone from a business trip in Salt Lake City, Utah (to Sacramento, Cal.) where it was starting to snow right as I left at 5 AM, then through the Salt Desert ( white salt flats) where there was also 6" of snow on the ground and very thick FOG that was also falling very small snow flakes. I drove at a very slow crawl with my head out the window looking for the white line on the road. It was so cold that my nose was running like a faucet and my hands were so cold ( I was wearing leather gloves) that I could barely hold the steering wheel. I was shivering so badly that my teeth were clicking even though I had long johns and heavy jacket on and flannel shirt and jeans, and the car heater and defroster was on full blast. My motivation to continue was to get over the Donner Summit as they were expecting another 6 ft. of snow from a blizzard and the radio was saying that it will take 2 full days to clear the snow from the highway. I crossed over the top of the summit as it started to snow in whiteout conditions. I followed a snowplow all the way down the Sierra Nevada Mountains. That was the most hair raising trip that I ever had. Note to self... Never again !

 

[thistlebloom]

I like winter.