Garden humor thread..

[Smart Red]

Proving that old adage that "truth is funnier than fiction".

Er, perhaps I misquoted an old adage, but that should be an old adage, Carol. Um, why did I come into the den?

 

[Ridgerunner]

Den? So that's what you call it.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Q; Why do they keep making TV's thinner and thinner?
A: To match the content.

 

[Smart Red]

Den? So that's what you call it.

Den, computer room, office what ever strikes my fancy at the time. Den takes less time to type (unless you have to explain yourself in another post).

 

[Smart Red]

I think the TVs getting thinner reason is "because they can". I think the thinning variety of quality television is because they don't have to.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Den, computer room, office what ever strikes my fancy at the time. Den takes less time to type (unless you have to explain yourself in another post).

Thanks. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that.

 

[sumi]

 

[ninnymary]

 

[ninnymary]

 

[aftermidnight]

An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

'The first is,' said St Peter, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?

The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought ... I expect you to do the same.

The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.
Now, can you tell me the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde entered Heaven...

Annette