Garden humor thread..

[thistlebloom]

saw on a sistersite, liked it so much I stole it.

Plant Shaming
View attachment 9048

Haha! I love it! Freeloading slacker...

 

[Sam BigDeer]

After retiring, a former Gunny Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back.
He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body until healing occurred. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence...
The rest of the year went smoothly.
Remember! We only travel this road once.
Love to all, Sam...

 

[hoodat]

Two women were having coffee together and the subject of her husbands Alzheimers came up. "You know" said one," He said the strangest thing to me. He said when he went to pee God turned on the light for him"
"DAMN IT! He peed in the refrigerator again"

 

[Chickie'sMomaInNH]

that one's going to keep me giggling all day. thanks @hoodat

 

[Smart Red]

"DAMN IT! He peed in the refrigerator again"

Yup! I mopped up the floor this morning.

That was a good joke, @hoodat! I can still enjoy that kind of humor. The best humor is the stuff that reality is made of.

 

[hoodat]

When it comes to Alzheimers it's either laugh or cry; like the time my wife collected all the cheap flatware and hid it under the sofa cushions so burglars wouldn't steal it. Good thing I found it before I sat down. I could have ended up with a fork in a delicate place.

 

[hoodat]

This drought reminds me of a joke I once heard.
During the dust bowl days a man was standing outside when a few drops of rain started to fall.
He shouted out, " Sarrah get them young'uns out here quick. I done tole 'em about rain but I don't think they believed me"

 

[hoodat]

A Russian commissar and his wife were standing in Moscow Square,
His wife said," I think is goink to snow Rudolph"
He replied," Nyet. Is goink to rain"
"I still say is goink to snow"
He said," Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

 

[Carol Dee]

Good Ones @hoodat

 

[thistlebloom]

A Russian commissar and his wife were standing in Moscow Square,
His wife said," I think is goink to snow Rudolph"
He replied," Nyet. Is goink to rain"
"I still say is goink to snow"
He said," Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

Haha! ...groan... that was funny!