Whew...I am up later than I wanted to be. I am beat from all of the running back and forth to the hospital, an hour drive from here. My dad is recovering well from his surgery, but has been having some memory lapses and confusion. A nurse called me a bit ago and asked me to call his room and talk to him, hoping it would calm him down. He forgot where he was and said he didn't know these people. He had taken off all of his monitors and got out of bed and wandered around a little. They said they'd sit with him until he fell asleep. They can't give him anything to help him sleep or relaxers because of his condition. I am so sad. He sounded scared on the phone.
Sometimes he is clear as a bell and sounds like his old self, other times confused.
Tomorrow they are going to put him through the paces with physical therapy and occupational therapy and assess him mentally as well to see where he's at and what level of care he will need to go home. We don't know if these spells of confusion will be the new norm or if it's part of recovering from the surgery (swelling on the brain or whatever). My brother is going to move back in with him when he gets home. I don't know how long that will be the arrangement.
I have no idea how the future is going to unfold with this and that's the scariest part. We don't know what we're up against and we just hope that all of us pulling together (my 2 siblings and I) will be able to care for him.
As far as we can tell, my dad doesn't have a will, life insurance, power of attorney, etc. all set up. He does have very good health insurance and I know we need to get COBRA coverage to extend it. He's not eligible for Medicaid and it takes 2 years on Disability before you can get Medicare (my dad is only 60). He does have several assets (house in town, farm, campground, car, boat, tractor) and a small amount in savings that should cover his regular bills for 3 months. He has no debts to my knowledge and does own his own home. I was hoping maybe you guys that have been through this sort of thing before could give me some insight into how this might all go down. We are worried to death that we might not be able to care for him ourselves (plan is to for him to move in with me). We don't want to put him in a facility unless there is just no way that we can care for his needs ourselves.
He's not even out of the hospital yet and several family members have been at me to talk about all of this business and it is really overwhelming me. I thought surely all of that could wait until we get him home (since it does appear that he will be able to return to his own home for some period of time at least). He is mostly cognizant, especially during the day. I am hoping he will be able to make most of his own decisions about what he wants, but with everyone barking in my ear today, I am afraid of him losing his farm and all. This is so hard!
I can only put one foot in front of the other right now.
