Planting a tree in memory . . .

[DrakeMaiden]

of a loved one.

Anyone want to make suggestions of a tree they would plant? I guess a tree that would make you smile when you see it.

Weeping willow comes to mind, but I'd love to hear other suggestions or from anyone who has done this. Whatever is clever.

 

[Mossy Rock]

I planted a guava tree next to were I buried my labrador retriever who died in April of this year, this might be different than what your referring to, she was buried in my backyard and was a family member for 15 years.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Thanks Mossy Rock. Pets qualify as loved ones in my book. Did planting it help with the grieving process?

 

[Nubsmum]

I have never done this but I think that a tree that would represent the person best or their likes perhaps. Like if they loved apples, then an apple tree. It would keep on giving to those around it. Or if the person loved flowers, then a tree that bloomed beautifully like a magnolia or dogwood. (depending on your climate of course) I have heard of people planting memorial tree, then putting a nice bench underneath so you can sit under it and enjoy the trees shade and comfort. Trees are wonderful. I love hearing the leaves rustle as the wind blow through them.

Oh, a Christmas tree would be perfect if that person was a lover of the holidays. You could decorate it at Christmas time with outdoor ornaments.


In any event, it is a lovely sentiment. :happy_flower

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Thank you, Nubsmum. I was also thinking of a tree that would give back food, but I don't know if that is better or if beautiful flowers would be just as good. Of course, that's something I have to sort out. :/

But I like to hear what others have to say or suggest. This will be my first time doing this, so I am appreciating the feedback.

 

[Rosalind]

I would plant a tree that was somehow associated with the loved one. But I'd only do it if they wouldn't mind--my mother, for example, hates nature except when it's in a painting or a photograph so that it doesn't smell, drop leaves or wilt. Definitely not someone I would plant a tree for, unless it was a plastic tree.

I have a story about a tree-planting ceremony gone awry, actually. I went to a funeral of a friend's son. I didn't know his son too well, I was going mostly for my friend. So for the funeral they were planting this tree over his cremains, and then you were supposed to take a pinch of special Native American tobacco and sprinkle the tobacco on the tree, around the tree, in the general vicinity of the tree, and say something nice or have a moment of silence. There were a lot of people at this funeral and we ended up walking up to the tree in twos. The lady who walked up to the tree with me was a total stranger, who instead of grabbing a mere pinch, grabbed a huge handful and flung it into the air just at the moment when a giant gust of wind blew up. So I was doused in freakin' tobacco stuff, it's all over my hair, and as I flailed around trying to dust myself off, I realized that I had just stepped in something which was most definitely not mere dirt. Instead of leaving the cremains in the box and burying the box under the tree, the bereaved had dumped the ashes all in the dirt, which was about to be shoveled around the tree root ball. Urgh.

So, yeah, word of advice: The cremains will be returned to you in a box. Leave 'em there, please, just bury the whole box or something. I realize that the humus of the soil is made, literally, out of dead bodies, but it's still oogy to think about who you just stepped in.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Sorry that you experienced that Rosalind! That would be a little creepy and very socially awkward. Sort of like walking off with the handbag that held Kurt Cobain's ashes.

No cremains or dead bodies will go under our tree. Rest assured.

 

[ams3651]

My aunt and grandmother planted a douglas fir at my grandmothers house because he loved being there and I think because he loved Christmas, he was 20.

 

[simple life]

The last time I planted a tree was last summer when one of my closest friends died.
It had been a very tough year where my brother's wife died and my best friend's husband and another dear frind from church.
Her son and my son are best friends and were even born one day apart in the same hospital. I promised her I would watch over him.
He was very touched that I planted a tree for her and he can see that every time he is here and hopefully he finds some comfort there, even if its just that he knows that someone else loved his mother enough to do that.
I do this privately though, no ceremony type thing.
After the funeral I come home and plant the tree.
I shop for what I think suits the person's personality. What actually reminded me of them. If that person had a favorite tree then you could obviously do that.
Roses sometimes are fitting as well. I planted a hydrangea tree for one. I like to plant things that will bloom profusely for a while, dogwoods, cherry trees etc.
They remind me of how short life is. When trees bloom profusely and beautifully for a short time and then its over, it reminds me of those lives. How they lived such rich and wonderful lives but it was too short, never enough, like the spring blooms you always want them to last longer. I rejoice in that bloom period and always think of them.
When those trees bloom it teaches me to appreciate life.
I hate that I sound so corny and almost didn't want to tell this story, but since you asked...

 

[DrakeMaiden]

I like to plant things that will bloom profusely for a while, dogwoods, cherry trees etc.
They remind me of how short life is. When trees bloom profusely and beautifully for a short time and then its over, it reminds me of those lives. How they lived such rich and wonderful lives but it was too short, never enough, like the spring blooms you always want them to last longer. I rejoice in that bloom period and always think of them.
When those trees bloom it teaches me to appreciate life.
I hate that I sound so corny and almost didn't want to tell this story, but since you asked...

That was beautiful and what I needed to hear. Thank you.