Will A Rodent Eat Deodorant Soap ?

[dickiebird]

A little girl was sent outside to find an appropriate limb for her dad to switch her with. She was gone for the longest time, but finally came back inside, lugging a big stone. She tearfully said "I couldn't find a stick, Daddy, but I brought this rock for you to hit me with."

My version of this story is a bit different than yours, but if I repeated it on here I might get the switch, soap or belt treatment!!! or possibly all 3.

THANX RICH

 

[thistlebloom]

There is a huge difference between discipline and "hitting" your kid.
And I think thoughtful people know the difference without having to spell it out.
I certainly knew that I had crossed the line when I got called on it and had to experience the consequences. I never enjoyed it of course, but it did serve as a deterrent to more of the same behavior from me in the future.

Those who think they are being socially advanced by allowing disrespectful behavior, (and I think all disobedience has it's roots in disrespect), are the true abusers.

 

[dickiebird]

My actual experience with discipline as a youngster went like this.
I had a younger half sister that was very book smart but not too street smart.
We both had the same mother and of course her dad was my step father and during the week I lived with the 3 of them. My mother would not under and circumstances allow my step father to reprimand me in any way, shape or form.
When ever I was suspected of any wrongdoing somehow? the blame always got shifted to my sister!!!
If she didn't get a spanking every day, she thought they didn't love her anymore.
For some reason we haven't spoke to each other in years.
Hooray....

THANX RICH

 

[Nyboy]

My younger sister was daddy's little girl. She got away with everything.

 

[Carol Dee]

That would be our younger brother.

 

[journey11]

As a teenager, I once said the f-word in my mom's presence. I got my mouth slapped. That is the only time I remember her ever physically disciplining me in any form. I was more shocked than anything and I promise you I never did that again.

Overall I was a really good kid and didn't get in trouble often. While my parents were still married (divorced when I was 13), my dad did all the spanking, but it was always just angry outbursts, not genuine discipline and he would use whatever was handy. So I think there is a really clear distinction between discipline and abuse. That was why my parents divorced actually, because my dad was abusive to my mom as well. When I was 19 he apologized to me for all that he had done and time has proven that he genuinely repented of it and is a changed man. My parents had a lot of stress and struggles and my dad didn't handle it well. He grew up the same and never learned how to better deal with his anger.

We do spank our kids, and when done right you really don't have to do it very often. We've got a strip of wood, about the length of a ruler, but a little thicker and it has the words "foolishness remover" on it. It was my husband's parent's when he was little. He didn't get spanked a lot really (even if he might have needed it), but did bury it in the yard once. His dad found it and dug it up. He also tried to scratch the words off, lol. We keep it above the kitchen door. We don't like spankings any more than the kids do, but I can't abide a mean or disrespectful child. If the kids get spanked for something, they get ample forewarning and we always follow the same routine. They are informed that the spanking is coming. We allow about 10 minutes or so for everyone to calm down and think about it. We go upstairs and have a long talk about what they did and why it was wrong, spank, then hug it out. This system has worked really well for us.

 

[Carol Dee]

I have 2 boys. Never much need for spanking. With #2 son spanking was totally ineffective. He would look at you like *Is that all* or *big deal* what worked with him was to keep him indoors. He never really watched TV or played video games. But always wanted to be out playing or even working at a friends farm. Take that away. Behavior changed quickly.

 

[Smart Red]

My younger sister was daddy's little girl. She got away with everything.

That would be our younger brother.

That would have been me although I really seldom did anything wrong other than hide with a book when there were dishes (or other work) to be done. Since the work still needed to be done, once I was found or the book was read I did what was wanted. I was daddy's girl -- at least for the first eight years until baby sister was born.

My children didn't get spanked except for things like running into the street (one swat on the diaper) or trying something equally dangerous. Mostly bad behavior was re-directed.

Once they were old enough to understand what they did was wrong I would explain why I was upset with their behavior, what I expected, and I would send them to their room with orders to stay there until they had a plan to change their behavior. Most of the time they didn't do much more than close their door and come back out again, but if the behavior had changed I was okay with that.

Once in a rare while they repeated whatever had upset me. Then I gave them a time limit to reconsider their behavior. I think my emphasis on the behavior being wrong rather than on them being bad and my explaining (along with lots of hugs and words of love) to them did most of the work as I seldom had problem with my two.

I did have one teacher complain that my children tended to ask "why" more often. She said she didn't have time to explain every time the class misbehaved. Huh? Never occurred to me to complain about behavior without also explaining what was expected behavior -- I called it teaching.

 

[Carol Dee]

I did have one teacher complain that my children tended to ask "why" more often. She said she didn't have time to explain every time the class misbehaved. Huh? Never occurred to me to complain about behavior without also explaining what was expected behavior -- I called it teaching.

And that is why you where such a good teacher.

 

[Nyboy]

I always asked why, My mother always replied " because I said so"