Excuses, Excuses....

[so lucky]

Every time I look at the threads entitled "What did you can today?" or "What did you do in the garden today?" I am amazed at the energy and dedication of some of the gardeners here. I mean, gee whiz, Monty J, do you ever sleep? and Baymule and Marshall and Catjac and digitsS', you all work circles around me. Every one on this forum is inspirational in their own way.

Then I start making excuses for myself, to myself, for not having a big harvest or already having 40 quarts of green beans canned (or any at all canned).

Let's see....I was going to pick a bunch of strawberries from the U-pick place south of here, but I hurt my knee and couldn't squat down for about a month. Then I was going to go to the U-pic blueberry farm, but it got too hot. I have the fencing to expand the chicken yard; just haven't quite gotten to it yet. I had intended to put out a couple more shade trees, but my husband's truck is broken down and he hasn't fixed it, so I can't haul anything. (Been hauling straw in my trunk, not a good move)

Now I guess I am kind of in a funk due to DH being in a depression/anxiety/paranoia state for the last few months. I am so weary of trying to convince him the police are not coming to arrest him, and that he is not dying of some unknown disease, and that his relatives are not out to kill him, and that the meds that were prescribed for the paranoia are not poisonous. Geez.....

Yes, I know he needs to see a therapist. I can't convince him of that. I have kind of put my life on hold, hoping he will start improving. It's hard to have a marriage when one of us has shut down.

My garden has been a real source of pleasure for me, in spite of the mediocre harvest. I can go out to talk to the chickens, too, even if it's to scold Scarlet for squashing her egg again.

So this summer is turning out like lots of others: Strange, disconnected, kind of lonely, since DH can't bear to have people come to the house, (I am thankful for you all here) and not very productive. Not really feeling sorry for myself; I don't do that very much. It is what it is, as they say.

This is such a perfect day, weather-wise....I should be at a picnic or taking a hike. Maybe I'll take my PB&J sandwich outside!

Thanks for letting me whine for a while. I know things will get better eventually.

 

[digitS']

I have a relative who is mentally unstable, So Lucky. He is always talking about it and seems to want understanding from others. A week later, he closes people out, acts impatient, angry, put-upon. It is really difficult to see why.

He does go to counseling so it isn't as tho' he isn't doing something about it but I don't really see any improvement. It worries me that his mental health may worsen. Yet, I think if I mentioned that to him - I'd get a shrug as tho' it would just be for others to adjust to. I know it serves no purpose to blame him but it is troubling and I see no solutions I can effect.

And, you know what? DW just came in with lunch from the deli. Then, she fell laid down for a nap before opening the bag. I know she is tired & it's Sunday but I'm hungry! So . . . I just finished the last 2 mini croissants she had on the table. I think I'll go back and get the last peach. I'm trying to be polite and not tear into whatever it is she planned for lunch but I gotta take care of myself. And, you do too! Gotta take care of yourself .

Steve

 

[so lucky]

Yep, I have come to that realization. Thanks for the comment. Mental illness is really difficult to understand. Maybe someday we will figure out what goes wrong. Probably about the same time we figure out why some kids become mass murderers.
Hope you get the surprise in the bag soon!

 

[digitS']

~ barbequed chicken ~

"fell laid down" . . ?

Yes, I started to type "fell asleep" but changed half of that to "laid down" . . . collapsed! Anyway, she isn't the one with the mental health problems, just physically tired .

I cannot quite fathom what irrationality amounts to. I know that is only a part of mental illness and cannot claim that my thoughts are all rational. I've got my irrationality and others have their irrationality. It is probably real good that they do not match. Still, I want to say, "Do something different! The way you are thinking and doing isn't working for you." He seems aware of this but just swings from being firmly convinced of one thing to a deep conviction to another idea.

Steve

 

[seedcorn]

Lucky, excuses????? Keep it up, to go on in adversity is a sign of true character.

 

[canesisters]

Lucky
Gardening is a hoby - not a religion. Do what you have time for - enjoy what you do. Make time for what's important. If all you manage in the midst of your BUSY life is to plant seeds and watch them sprout, then enjoy that. If you don't plant a thing but visit a couple of u-pick places to enjoy the produce, then enjoy that. If all you can manage sometimes is to visit TEG and talk about gardening, then enjoy that. Don't ever feel bad about not managing to keep up with others. If we were all in your shoes, many of us would not be doing nearly as well as you are. (I know for a fact that I would be spending a good bit of time hiding in the closet.)

 

[thistlebloom]

So Lucky, I'm glad you're here. I always open a post if I see you have commented, even if i wouldn't ordinarily have gone there.
You have a lot of wisdom, and I find your comments very practical, and sometimes you make me laugh, and I do love to laugh!
Like Cane said, if we had to trade places....well, I'm sure I wouldn't manage your situation well at all.

Take care of yourself, smile, and hang on.

 

[catjac1975]

So lucky-You can't compare yourself to anyone else when it comes to gardening. You can only do what you can. Most of us have a contributing partner that supports us either with work or with just plain support. My husband and myself are retired. The gardens that you see are the result of 36 years of owning and gardening the same place, and learning since I was a child. I am blessed with good health at least as far as anything serious goes, and a rather overpowering ambition towards the things that I like to do. I would not post the neatness of my house. You must remember we only take pictures when things are at there best. And my cup is always half full.
Living with someone with mental health issues is as exhausting as someone with cancer or some other terrible disease. I'm sure the depression can rub off on you.I would suggest that you start with one thing at a time outdoors to get accomplished. Keep you gardens small so they are not overwhelming. Take pictures and crop out the weeds in the viewfinder like we do. If you can get your husband outside to coax him into the garden he might feel the mental nourishment that most of us obsessed gardeners do.

I tilled under my strawberries because I was tired of 6 months of weeding for 2 weeks of berries. I did not make it to a picking farm either. The mudroom makeover that I started in January was halted by the flu, then my husband's knee surgery, then spring gardening, then the second knee replacement. It will wait until it's too cold to garden.
So we all have unfinished projects and weeding waiting for a better moment. Get some small thing done tomorrow and celebrate it. Wave to the waiting projects and tell them see you soon.
Maybe there is someone that can help you get help for your husband. I will say a prayer for you.
Cathy

 

[thistlebloom]

I just love you guys. You are all so articulate and succinct. Well said Cat.

 

[dewdropsinwv]

I don't think anyone has a very tidy house when it comes to gardening!!!! I know my house isn't the neatest on the block during gardening or canning season!!!! It will not be "clean" by any means until this fall.

I know the little things are what I celebrate, like the fact that I was able to help Monty with the weeding, or when I helped him stand the corn back up after the first bad storm we had.... for me that was a great accomplishment!
No one cares if you haven't gotten much done in your garden, as long as you get enjoyment out of having one, and can enjoy the fruits of your labor.

I'm just glad that you are here talking to us. Hope things get better with your hubby. Saying prayers for you both.