Garden humor thread..

[TheSeedObsesser]

Umm, that did not come out right. OK, read it like...this!

"Urine
-
Opposite of you're out."

The dashes kind of split each section into two.

 

[Carol Dee]

Bay, a good one.

 

[seedcorn]

GRUMPY OLD MAN

An old man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be
heard deep into the night. The old man would shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him, and the old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. And, after the burial,
her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out
of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.

And I know he won't ask for directions."

Hey, that is offensive. We ask for directions when we are lost. We just always know where we are at.

 

[baymule]

So........Mr. Offended......will your wife bury you upside down??

 

[seedcorn]

You are assuming I will be buried? As one of the more famous lines in "Long, hot summer". I might just live forever.........

 

[baymule]

So is Dracula

 

[Smart Red]

Good one, Bay! Reminds me of my daughter. She went to the doctor. The doctor told her she had Acute Bronchitis. Daughter continued to go to work but felt worse and worse so she went back to the doctor. He was amazed that she had been working. "I said Acute Bronchitis! You should have stayed home and rested."

She told me she thought acute was a little case of bronchitis. The acute angle was smaller than any other. No, it is acute, as in sharp or severe. Told that story to all my students when we studied geometry. Not gonna happen to them!

 

[baymule]

 

[canesisters]

 

[ducks4you]

OMG! Don't you love it when artists draw stuff like this?