My BJ, My Husband has Died

Gardening with Rabbits

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I tried to take BJ off the car insurance yesterday. They wouldn't do it without a death certificate. I canceled some of his credit cards online, a tedious process. It takes FOREVER clicking on various pages to finally find the tiny print of Cancel my Account. Then they send you to a representative by chat. Chat used to be fast, easy and a nice way to get help. It took from 5-10 minutes to even get a representative on chat and I had to stare at the stupid screen the whole time, waiting on Hi, I'm so and so, what can I help you with? Responses were very slow, so once I got a live I-don't-know-what-who-or-where on line, it was still slow. I still have a few more to do. :he

I canceled his United Healthcare supplement, that was fairly easy, but had a bad cell phone connection and had to stand outside in the rain to get that done. Went through the Notes on my phone, canceling his future Doctor appointments. Standard reply, I'm sorry for your loss. NO ONE even wanted my address to even send flowers, cash gifts or a box of chocolates. :gigI just don't get it.
I never took DH off my bank account or the house loan. Actually, both our names are on all the utility bills too I think he gets more mail than I do and DD still gets mail here with her maiden name, credit card applications.
 

Gardening with Rabbits

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I called my sister crying yesterday morning. Having a bad day. We talked for awhile and I felt better. She suggested that I take BJ's clothing to a men's shelter, that it will be cold soon and they will need socks, coats, everything. So I started cleaning out the closet. BJ's closet is 4'x10'. I built 2 towers, 18" deep x 7' tall. One is 3' wide, the other is 2' wide and I put shelves in it. 2 pole bars for hanging clothes go between the towers. I put baskets on some of the shelves for small items like socks and underwear. I put a bookcase in the closet for his shoes. He was so proud of his closet, and it was full. The man liked clothing and looking good.

So far I have 8 trash bags full and I'm not done yet. I still have to bag up coats and suits. I'm keeping his shirts to make quilts for the granddaughters. A woman who I've known all of her 42 years looked at him as her dad because her father was an alcoholic train wreck and died when she was in her 20's. She even lived with us for about a year one time. I will make her a memory pillow and I'm giving her one of his big T-shirts. I'm keeping one of his army coats, I have a picture of him wearing it that I love. Keeping a few of his T-shirts too so I can wear them around the house or sleep in them. I feel much better knowing that his things will go to those in need. I can't haul all that around with me, so best to face reality now and do something positive with them. Tearful? Yes. Hard? Yes. But it must be done.

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I gave a lot of DH's things to good will. About a year would go by and I would throw more things away.. I threw things away that reminded me of him being sick. I had a pair of shorts and pajama bottoms that I had taken out of the dryer and they were folded on a cabinet in the laundry room. The sack of cat food sat on that for 3 years before I threw those away. I have shirts still that I thought he looked good in. Actually, his shoes were almost new because he could not walk outside the last half year or so, and they were sitting by the door and I started slipping them on to just go out the door to feed the rabbits. He wore 10-1/2 and in men's size I wear 8, so they are huge, but I just slip them on and no strings to tie. lol That is a REALLY wonderful picture of your husband and I can tell it is a good coat. I kept a lot of old work clothes. Some I have pictures of him wearing. We both had matching barn coats we bought about 1995. I wear mine in the winter. We stopped wearing them and had them packed for years. I will wear his when mine wears out. I went through pockets of some things hanging in a closet and found receipts for things he had bought. He always kept the receipt. lol
 

ninnymary

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Good for you, now enjoy that coffee and get a good meal together.

We have been talking different foods in here so please share anything you can serve up with us.

Steve's got me adding cinnamon too just about everything lately :)

Maybe you want too read the thread. ;)

Shoot! I've been forgetting to start adding cinnamon to my coffee. Ugh gotta remember tomorrow morning. I'm also supposed to start drinking a glass of water with apple cider vinegar for my heartburn. My friend says I need to take it in the morning. I don't need to drink it all at once, I can take several drinks of it at a time. I'm forgetting to do that too! Yikes!

I'm going to tell my husband to remind me to see if that works.

Mary
 

Marie2020

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100%. Last year I received a lecturing letter from the health department telling me that one of my children was severely behind on vaccines. I spent over an hour on the phone with my pediatric checking up on the vaccines for my children, only to find out they were all up to date.

Only after this did I realize they'd sent it for the one child who didn't live long enough to receive her vaccines. One would think having access to my children's vaccines records would mean they also have access to death records, and know not to call. It was so insensitive.
From what I can gather the communication is seriously lax for all public services

I don't know if it has changed here but the doctors and hospitals had the same problems.

My old doctor just didn't get why, it's absolutely ridiculous because these people are trusted with our children and our lives. Why?
 

Marie2020

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Shoot! I've been forgetting to start adding cinnamon to my coffee. Ugh gotta remember tomorrow morning. I'm also supposed to start drinking a glass of water with apple cider vinegar for my heartburn. My friend says I need to take it in the morning. I don't need to drink it all at once, I can take several drinks of it at a time. I'm forgetting to do that too! Yikes!

I'm going to tell my husband to remind me to see if that works.

Mary
Mary I love you. Yet again you have reminded me to do these important things

I've just had my coffee, I will remember in the morning :hugs

Who needs a husband when we have Mary :clap
 

R2elk

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Shoot! I've been forgetting to start adding cinnamon to my coffee. Ugh gotta remember tomorrow morning. I'm also supposed to start drinking a glass of water with apple cider vinegar for my heartburn. My friend says I need to take it in the morning. I don't need to drink it all at once, I can take several drinks of it at a time. I'm forgetting to do that too! Yikes!

I'm going to tell my husband to remind me to see if that works.

Mary
Drinking ACV will only make an acidic stomach more acidic. A neighbor convinced his wife to start taking ACV. It made her stomach more acidic. To combat it she drank a glass of baking soda water. That caused her to rupture a blood vessel in her stomach. They fortunately got her to ER before she bled out.
 

flowerbug

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Drinking ACV will only make an acidic stomach more acidic. A neighbor convinced his wife to start taking ACV. It made her stomach more acidic. To combat it she drank a glass of baking soda water. That caused her to rupture a blood vessel in her stomach. They fortunately got her to ER before she bled out.

that is the point of drinking ACV is to get the stomach acidic enough again to tell it to stop producing yet more acid. by taking antacids people are doing the opposite of what the body needs (IMO of course). all it really does is sell more antacids.

like the problem with ulcers is often a bacterial infection there are problems from stomach acid and things that are more related to poor eating habits and lifestyle bad choices and once you correct those you can often avoid longer term issues.

always a good idea to have your stomach and esophygus checked if it is a persistent issue, but generally the docs push pills and not actual solutions.

drinking a small amount of baking soda water can help for a short term thing, but instead it is often better to have some coke or ginger ale or even just plain sparkling water instead. as your friend found out all too often it is a bad idea to do things without really understanding what they are doing to themselves.
 

GottaGo

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@baymule I have been MIA, and just now saw this. Healing thoughts and prayers for an easing of the pain.... losing someone who is part of your life that somehow made you whole, is not ever going to be easy.

Blessings.
 
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