Windows

[Collector]

It’s hard to navigate without a plan.

 

[Nyboy]

Every mothers day my parents would have the same fight. My dad did nothing for my mother his excuse was she was his wife not mother; my mother would come back she was the mother of his children. You would think after years of the same fight he would at least get her a card. Every father she gave him a gift.

 

[Nyboy]

Because i am signal i always get the gift I want I buy it

 

[seedcorn]

Not necessarily a universal statement but in certain areas, absolutely. That comes from experience on so many different levels. I don't try to buy a gift for my wife, she wont like it no matter what I do. She used to use a certain jeweler and commented a few times how much she liked her (the jeweler's) stuff and that the jeweler made good recommendations. One time I went to that jeweler for a recommendation. She remembered my wife and said she'd like this. Nope, it was returned for exchange. I once bought her the exact same perfume she had used for years as I had just overheard her tell her sister-in-law and best friend how much she liked it and was about out. Of course, she told me that she was planning on switching to a different perfume when that bottle ran out. It did not take long to learn that the only way I bought her a present was for her to show me precisely what she wanted. Now she just buys for herself.

If I try to set up some social occasion it would never go smoothly. If I choose a restaurant or a fast food place, even if we go there regularly, there are always problems. I learned very quickly to not even think about any style or color suggestion for anything around the house. Several times I'm sure she asks for my opinion so she knows what not to choose.

There are some things I'll make the decision on, so no it is not universal. Sometimes I can influence a decision, often by carefully asking questions but leaving the final decision up to her. If it is important to me I'll resist or put my foot down, but for the most part it's just not worth the pain and aggravation. Is the response on speed dial? No, but i think very carefully before i make a suggestion or a decision. Experience is a hard task manager.

You are living my life. No matter what, she will find something to complain about-afterwards. If you ask for input in decision, she is “I don’t know about this. Didn’t your dad teach you anything?” They learn that from their mothers—how to be a wife 101....

 

[thistlebloom]

You are living my life. No matter what, she will find something to complain about-afterwards. If you ask for input in decision, she is “I don’t know about this. Didn’t your dad teach you anything?” They learn that from their mothers—how to be a wife 101....

We do tend to model what we grow up with, but I didn't want to be my mom, as much as I loved her.
I wanted my relationship with my husband to be mutually respectful, so I figure if I treat him with respect it will be returned in kind.

 

[seedcorn]

We do tend to model what we grow up with, but I didn't want to be my mom, as much as I loved her.
I wanted my relationship with my husband to be mutually respectful, so I figure if I treat him with respect it will be returned in kind.

Not the way he tells it at our family reunions......just sayin.

 

[flowerbug]

We do tend to model what we grow up with, but I didn't want to be my mom, as much as I loved her.
I wanted my relationship with my husband to be mutually respectful, so I figure if I treat him with respect it will be returned in kind.

it's a good start.

 

[thistlebloom]

Not the way he tells it at our family reunions......just sayin.

What?
Okay that's it! I'm getting out the rolling pin!

 

[seedcorn]

What?
Okay that's it! I'm getting out the rolling pin!

Now that’s the sis that @majorcatfish & I remember.....

 

[ninnymary]

We do tend to model what we grow up with, but I didn't want to be my mom, as much as I loved her.
I wanted my relationship with my husband to be mutually respectful, so I figure if I treat him with respect it will be returned in kind.

That is one of the major keys to a successful marriage. Not only have I been married for 38 years but they have been good ones. My husband is kind and gentle and I wouldn't change him for anything. Who else asks you each day "Is there anything you want me to do for you today?" since his retirement. p.s. and actually does it!

Mary