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flowerbug

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It's been nearly a month since Carol Dee asked if we are doing OK. Today I feel more apprehensive than usual, just a general anxiety, which is pretty rare for me.

Actually, my barely-teen grand daughter announced this week that she feels like she is really a boy, inside. She would like to be referred to as "he" and "him", rather than feminine pronouns. That is all that is being asked for right now. I have noticed for several years that she (he) is not thrilled with all the girly things that is usually exciting for girls that age. She is athletic, blunt and a little obnoxious. That sounds like a barely-teen boy, right?

I know that this could be a phase she is going through. Figuring out how much advantage boys have over girls in so many areas, she was depressed about growing up even 3 years ago. Things could change with time. I don't want her to burn any bridges while she figures herself out.

I am still trying to digest this, fearful for what it will mean to her in school, in trying to get a job later on, in all aspects of life that we take for granted.

And, it's not "my problem", really. I will still love that child no matter what happens. The pain and frustration she will go through will hurt me, too, though.

"I feel your pain" is not just a catchy phrase.
in my experience the parents and older relatives are often much worse than the kids of the own age group - but it also depends upon your local culture... i've had a lot of interesting conversations with people of various kinds of descriptions. there have always been a certain number of people who are different and whether or not the wider society understands or accepts them has changed through time.
 

Cinderloowho

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It's been nearly a month since Carol Dee asked if we are doing OK. Today I feel more apprehensive than usual, just a general anxiety, which is pretty rare for me.

Actually, my barely-teen grand daughter announced this week that she feels like she is really a boy, inside. She would like to be referred to as "he" and "him", rather than feminine pronouns. That is all that is being asked for right now. I have noticed for several years that she (he) is not thrilled with all the girly things that is usually exciting for girls that age. She is athletic, blunt and a little obnoxious. That sounds like a barely-teen boy, right?

I know that this could be a phase she is going through. Figuring out how much advantage boys have over girls in so many areas, she was depressed about growing up even 3 years ago. Things could change with time. I don't want her to burn any bridges while she figures herself out.

I am still trying to digest this, fearful for what it will mean to her in school, in trying to get a job later on, in all aspects of life that we take for granted.

And, it's not "my problem", really. I will still love that child no matter what happens. The pain and frustration she will go through will hurt me, too, though.

"I feel your pain" is not just a catchy phrase.
Ah, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could get inside their heads and just kind of help them figure it all out? I have a 20 year old nephew who met a girl about a year and a half ago. This girl then decides she's really a boy, and my nephew is good with that. It's such an unbelievably complicated situation, there is no easy answer. If you harold me when I was 20 that situations like this would even happen, much less be fairly common, I'd have never believed it! So yes, I feel it, your pain, their pain, all of it, and my heart aches for all of us!
 

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