I am going back to work

seedcorn

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@Ridgerunner Your niece sounds like a great person. IMO, the retirement employees are treated worse than slaves by management and respond to family help. It would be very easy to become jaded in their situation.

@ducks4you Many reasons why people end up in their situations. Child abusers deserve whatever they get. I see too many that just stick them somewhere and basically walk away saying their life is too busy with kids, job, their life, etc. Will visit once a week-maybe...... on other hand when kids move away (& are stable there) parents should move close so that their kids don’t have to travel distances to see them. My folks moved 7 hours away to retire-theynwere 4 hours away. Made it hard on me to help and keep a job. This thought is lost on my wife.....as her nephews and brother took care of her folks.
 

digitS'

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Mom had heart problems and a pacemaker during the last 11 or 12 years of her life. A nephew stopped by the hospital waiting room that day. Never saw Mom, and didn't return. Another nephew and 3 nieces lived within 20 miles, they were very infrequent visitors - once or twice, every couple of years. I was there every Sunday and would bring dinner. Sometimes Dad would cook. You think I have simple recipes and a limited menu?!

Dad became more and more her caregiver right up until hospice became involved. She spent a total of 2 weeks in a nursing home - very, very interested in getting out. Lived about 3 months and died at home.

Dad had something of the same experience. After a hospitalization, he insisted on getting out of a nursing home. He had lots of homecare after that, with visiting nurses, therapy and housekeeping. Going into assisted living, very hard of hearing and legally blind - he was there less than 6 months.

So many in that "greatest generation" thought of those places as places to die. I was surprised that there were some who seemed quite competent living there. By this time (2019), most residents were the "silent generation" and often walked without assistance, carried on conversations, operated the door lock by themselves and occupied chairs under the porch roof on nice days ... All seats at the cardtable were filled every evening ...

One fellow, after he retired from work in a place like that, told me of his relative who was told by doctor and family that he would have to move into assisted living - walked out of his own home and shot himself. Death was preferable. People are so different.

Personally, I can't seem to make any plans. I recognize the physical limitations and that they advance and compound ... underlying health problems? I've had those from the time I was carried out of the pediatric wing, no, the delivery room! Seriously.

I do recognize that struggling to overcome them makes me feel better and moves me a few degrees towards greater mobility and better health.

Steve
 

seedcorn

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@digitS' agree on mind set. Also depends upon type of place they live. When your body is worn out, people are ready to die. We, the living, want them to live on thinking life is preferable over death. Here is where faith enters in.
Work buddy had to move his mom/dad off of farm and into a retirement place. His Dad told everyone that his son was a &#$’ahya. Then they met another card playing couple. 2 men go out for coffee every AM, now, best decision his Dad ever made. :)
 

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