The sewing machine is a gift from my father in law, so it's extraordinarily precious. He is the one led me into the universe of gardening, and a couple years later, he gifted us his sewing machine. However, dementia already caught him then, just we didn't realize.
When he brought us his sewing machine, he couldn't remember how to use it. None of us realized about the coming shadow. Later, he told us that the machine didn't work any longer (in fact, the machine should be ok at that moment.) and he throw that away. Before Christmas of that year, he gave me cash and asked me to buy a modern one for myself. I was so touched at that moment, as he always treated me like his own daughter (he didn't have one, he has three boys). We shared a lot of hobbies - gardening, cooking, classical music, and the last turned to be sewing.
I never used a sewing machine before, just like I never grew anything on the ground. I bought one machine and some beginner's guide/toolkit, but I didn't start using it because, just a few months later, he was officially diagnosed dementia. Our life changed a lot as DD and I started to station in his house to take care of him, until he had to go to a nursing home in another eight months.
My feeling toward this machine is always a bit complicated. I am the type that hates reading any manuals, till today. I still hate reading manuals, that's why there are still some advanced devices I owned remained new.
Anyway, I did start my sewing practices and decided that it will be a journey only I can decide how far, how deep, how often, how blablabla I would like to explore. I finally learned to ignore whatever ''you should/you've better blablabla'' and be accountable for what and how I want to experience.
My FIL moved into a nursing home which is specialized in taking care of dementia people. I prefer not using the term 'patient' here. He is doing there much better than staying in the ordinary one. He is confused about DH - sometimes he thought DH is his father, sometimes brother, and can't remember DH's name. Well, name is just a code, isn't it? His health is improving after the medical team there double checked his medicine, discussed with the doctors and further deleted unnecessary ones. He started reading again, eating well, and most of the time, in a very good mood, as the nursing home never forced them doing things like having meals at a specific time and location, or must wake up at 8 for breakfast (how weird!) in the first nursing home where he suffered a lot.
Last week when DH asked him, do you remember Phaedra?
He said, of course, she is your wife!
We participated in each other's life for just six to seven years, and then he started his journey to the universe of dementia, where is still very unknown to us. However, I am so grateful that we met and became a lovely mark in our lives.
