12 Hours In ER With Dad

[Nyboy]

My dad called me at work yesterday he needed to go to ER. My dad's biggest fear is being admitted to hospital so I knew he had to be bad. He said he was heavily bleeding for 3 days his heart was racing, was weak and dizzy. At ER he had blood taken and a EKG he would not let them do a rectal exam. Dr wanted to admit he refused. They hooked him up to IV He claimed to immediately feel better and started flirting with the nurses. 12 long hours I sat in a uncomfortable metal chair next to his bed pounding head ache. Dr wanted to call in prescription he said dont bother he will not take. I asked him what should I do with discharge papers he said throw away. I brought my dad home and offered to sleep over he told me NO. Yesterday he was on death door this morning he drove to centenary to put palm cross on my mothers grave. He is pestering my sister all day about what restaurant we having Easter at. I ditched 2 very important clients yesterday had to come in crack of dawn to make right with them. I can not think and feel drained. My friend Carol owns a home nursing company, he will not allow anyone but my sisters and me in house. I just needed to rant been a long weekend

 

[aftermidnight]

My dad called me at work yesterday he needed to go to ER. My dad's biggest fear is being admitted to hospital so I knew he had to be bad. He said he was heavily bleeding for 3 days his heart was racing, was weak and dizzy. At ER he had blood taken and a EKG he would not let them do a rectal exam. Dr wanted to admit he refused. They hooked him up to IV He claimed to immediately feel better and started flirting with the nurses. 12 long hours I sat in a uncomfortable metal chair next to his bed pounding head ache. Dr wanted to call in prescription he said dont bother he will not take. I asked him what should I do with discharge papers he said throw away. I brought my dad home and offered to sleep over he told me NO. Yesterday he was on death door this morning he drove to centenary to put palm cross on my mothers grave. He is pestering my sister all day about what restaurant we having Easter at. I ditched 2 very important clients yesterday had to come in crack of dawn to make right with them. I can not think and feel drained. My friend Carol owns a home nursing company, he will not allow anyone but my sisters and me in house. I just needed to rant been a long weekend

Sending you the biggest . Do what you can for your dad but unless he has lost his mental capacities and can't look after himself I don't think there's much you can do. When the time comes I want to stay in my own home with home support if necessary. In other words when I go I want to go with my boots on.
Maybe you and your sister can keep trying to talk him into getting some home support, once he has it he will probably like it and look forward to the visits. Let him know how concerned you are as one of these times you won't be able to come.
Have you looked into getting him a lifeline where he only has to push a button if he needs help, Our neighbor has one and we are one of the contacts as well as another neighbor. Neighbors look after neighbors around here. Again big .

Annette

 

[HomesteaderWife]

Sending some heavy prayer your way in this situation. I pray also that my words can bring a bit of help. It's always okay to talk about things that concern you, especially with such a good-hearted crowd like there it here. I can't say I understand in any way, however, I can only imagine how frustrated with and yet worried you are for him. But in the lighter side of this tough time, at least your dad is in better health and not doing so bad off like he was. Did they say what had happened to him?

Also, it is commendable that you are concerned with your clients as well and took to early hour work to make right with them. Some people wouldn't even care.

I hope your dad gets to doing better still, and that maybe some middle ground can be established as @aftermidnight said by getting him a push-for-help button of some sort in case he has a difficult time.

 

[seedcorn]

@Nyboy There is no answer. Just persevere one day (or one hour) at a time. Will be thinking of your family. Any clients that don’t understand are ............

 

[flowerbug]

i have very specific instructions from Mom if anything happens to her. she definitely is the same as your Dad. she will not go to hospital ever other than to visit some (very few people). so when the time comes i hope she is here where i know what she wants done. she would not go to ER like your Dad did. she'd just rather die.

i understand completely about how frustrating it can be, you just have to hang on for the sometimes bumpy rides.

 

[digitS']

Get some rest, NyBoy. Something healthy for you, at the table.

Here's something I tried the other day on an old guy who was having real trouble getting around.

As I was leaving, I told him to take care of himself because, after all "your mother would want you to." It really made him smile .

I think that most everyone has memories that are a part of their everyday life. As we age, the people with whom we share memories become fewer. Younger generations may age along with us but our memories are often discounted.

The elderly were once children and their parents cared for them and expected to be listened to.

Steve

 

[Rhodie Ranch]

Do you have any clue as to the malady he might have? Rectal bleeding? Nose bleeding? Clearly he was dehydrated and immediately felt better with fluids. I'm guessing you're in for a longer run, unless one day you or sis find him passed on. I can imagine how concerned your are and how you feel like you're banging your head against the brick wall, called "Dad". .....Deep sigh...Long hug from me to you....

Stubborn old coots are just that...both feet are stuck to the ground, and they ain't going anywhere for anyone.

 

[ninnymary]

How maddening it must be! You can't change him so just try to go with the flow. I know that's very hard to do but the only one you have control over is you. Not anyone else. Take a deep breath and go home and relax with a glass of wine. Sorry you have to go through this.

Mary

 

[baymule]

Adventures with Dad....... You can let it make you crazy or you can just roll with the punches. He isn't going to change, you'll just have to work around it-if you can.

You know you can come here to vent. We all know how much you love, admire and respect your Dad. But even the best of sons can get exasperated when butting one's head up against a brick wall.

 

[Carol Dee]

Wish I had some way to help. Or words of wisdom. Can only offer a BIG